I’ll Never Be Jealous Again

Lyrics

[MABEL, spoken] Hinesy. Hinesy, Hinesy, Hinesy.  [HINES, spoken] I've learned my lesson, Mabel. I'll never be jealous again.  [MABEL, spoken] You stick to it now.  [HINES, spoken] Absolutely.  [MABEL] That's easier said than done [HINES, spoken] I can do it.  [MABEL] I knew it But let's take an example, just for fun (spoken) C'mon baby. C'mon over here.  [HINES, spoken] Example? I'm not sure I like the sound of that.  [MABEL, spoken] Sit down.  (sung) Picture this You're sitting and waiting for her to come back from a date [HINES] There I am I'm sitting and waiting for her to come back from a date [MABEL] Here she comes Her blouse is unbuttoned, her stockings are not very straight [HINES] Here she comes Her blouse is unbuttoned, her stockings are not very straight [MABEL] Later on She gets a bouquet with a card in it saying "To baby, you were great" (spoken) Well, Hinesy, what would you do then? [HINES] I would trust her [MABEL, spoken] Yes! [HINES] I would trust her By George, I swear I would trust her No, I'll never be jealous again [MABEL, spoken] Very good, Hinesy.  [HINES, spoken] See, it's mind over matter.  [MABEL, spoken] But I'm not finished. C'mon, let's take another example.  [HINES, spoken] I don't have all the time in the world.  [MABEL, spoken] You got all the time I need, baby, don't worry about it.  (sung) Picture this You've nothing to do so you drop in to chat for a while [HINES] There I am With nothing to do so I drop in to chat for a while [MABEL] Something's up The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile [HINES] Something's up The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile [MABEL] There you see A shirt and a tie and pair of pants in a nice neat little pile (spoken) Well, Hinesy? [HINES] I— I would trust her I would trust her By George, I swear I would trust her No, I'll never be jealous I'll never never never never Never never never never Never be jealous again [MABEL, spoken] That's the stuff, Hinesy. You're practically cured! [HINES] There will be no more nightmares to sleep through No more keyholes to peep through [MABEL] No more bushes to creep through [HINES] That's my plan [MABEL] Well, now that you're a new man Picture this [HINES, spoken] Bring it on.  [MABEL] You go to your sweetie's apartment, you borrow the keys [HINES] There I am I go to my sweetie's apartment, I borrow the keys [MABEL] There she is She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze [HINES] There she is She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze [MABEL] Then, to boot She tells you she was in the arms of a cousin Who's back from overseas [HINES, spoken] Ah. Her cousin? [MABEL, spoken] Yes.  [HINES, spoken] From overseas? [MABEL, spoken] Uh huh.  [HINES, spoken] Do you expect me to believe that? I was not born yesterday! [MABEL, spoken] Hinesy! [HINES] I— I— I would trust her [MABEL, spoken] Oh.  [HINES] I would trust her By George, I swear I would trust her No, I'll never be jealous I'll never never never never Never never never never Never never never never Never never never Never be jealous again [MABEL, spoken] Oh, I'm so proud of you!