Lyrics

[Chorus] Texting and driving and driving and texting Texting and driving and driving and texting Sitting in my parked car crying I'd rather be texting and driving [Verse 1] Texting and driving and driving and texting I'll be arriving while driving while texting Why would they let a bitch like me Operate heavy machinery? Don't know! [Verse 2] I'm catching Kony. It's me - I got him I made a trade for Osama Bin Laden Mission accomplished 'cause America's awesome They wrote the scripture and I'm just their Gollum And I chose to believe them Okay, I chose to believe them Yeah, I chose to believe them! To believe them, to believe them To believe them, to believe, believe [Chorus] Texting and driving and driving and texting Texting and driving and driving and texting Sitting in my parked car crying I'd rather be texting and driving [Verse 3] Nice to meet you, enchanté I'm texting you with my ETA Me and your mom have friendship bracelets Texting your dad a curated playlist Texting God in my head Also known as praying Now I'm playing dead Also known as laying Let's go! [Outro] When I die, take my texts and delete them When I die, take my texts and delete them When I die, take my texts and delete them And delete them, and delete them And delete them, and delete them And delete them, and delete them And delete them, and delete them