A Girl Named Kim (45 King Remix)

Lyrics

Now you guys, you know the feeling when your heart sees The woman in all your fantasies When nothing else matters 'cause you're no longer haunted By someone you've ever seen, but always wanted Never seen her before but you know she's Ms. Right Built just the way you want, just the right type Well it happened to me and I thought I was in love So that's where I'll start my story of My encounter with a girl named Kim Well it was one of those days when nothing's right with thе world I was half-broke, sober, and fed up with my girl Lookin' for somеthin' to do, wonderin' how long It would take for the next thing to go wrong I decided to hang, go out and ease my mind I told myself "You never know what you might find" I took a hot bubble bath instead of a shower Then proceeded to get dressed, it took me a hour I decided on leather, fresh, red and white My boogie boots, and I was sure to score that night The final touch, some cologne, I think Aramis Then took one last look at the mirror and said "You look marvelous, darling, you really do, no lie" I jetted out the door, then I hailed a taxi Said "54 and hurry," and jumped in the backseat We arrived, he said "$8.50, not including a tip" I said, "Don't smoke, give me my change 'fore I bust your lip" The club was really jumpin' and word is bond I saw women walkin' 'round with jeans painted on Splits in the skirts up to here, leather and lace Me and my dick both agree, we gonna like this place Sat at the bar, the guy said "What are you drinking?" I said orange juice and Rémy, and slid him a Lincoln Took a sip, grabbed my money, he looked at me strange I said, "Psych, I bet you thought you was keeping my change" I made my way through the crowd, it was plain to see Same everywhere I go, all eyes on me Sat down at a table, and one of the staff Said, "Ain't you Caz?" I said "Yeah, but no autograph" Just sat by myself and sipped my drink I took a glance across the room and received a wink I did the only thing a red-blooded man would do Looked down to see what the eye was attached to Sure 'nough it was a girl, not just any female Her hair and eyes sparkled like ginger ale I looked lower to her lips, then her chin and her neck Then I wondered 'bout the rest and said "Let me check" I sent the waiter to her table to ask her name He returned and said "Kim," and I almost came I checked myself to make sure I looked alright And told my dick "Don't worry, we fuckin' tonight" So with a nice, friendly smile, a dash of charm I stepped up to the lady and tapped her arm But when she turned around, my smile turned to gloom She didn't look nothing like she did across the room Had big broad shoulders, her titties were big But they were silicone-filled and her hair was a wig She wore more makeup than Boy George and Phyllis Diller Ugly enough to be a monster in "Thriller" Had hair on her chest longer than my braids And even though I got a band, I don't need AIDS So I headed for the door, she said "Please stay" I said "Sorry brother but I don't go that way" I ran out in a hurry and gathered my wits And said "That's a damn shame, he had nice tits" And that's the last that I ever saw of Kim You know why? Cause she's a he, and her is a him The moral is don't believe in love at first sight 'Cause you might just sight a transvestite And that ain't right