The Auctioneer

Lyrics

[Intro] Hey well all right sir, open the gate And let 'em out and walk 'em boys Here we come and let in number twenty-nine What are you gonna give for the little fella? [Chorus] I wanna five dollar, wanna bid Would ya bid it on a five on a five on a five Would ya bid it on a twenty-five? Got a twenty-five dollar, would ya bid it on the five on the five Would ya bid it on a thirty dollar five on a five, would ya bid it on a five Would ya bid it on a thirty-five? [Verse 1] Well, there was this boy from Arkansas Who wouldn't listen to his ma When she told him that he should go to school Well, he'd sneak away in the afternoon Take a little walk and pretty soon You'd find him at the local auction barn Well, he'd stand and listen carefully Until at last he began to see How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly Well, he said, "Oh my, it's do or die I've got to learn that auction cry Gonna make my mark and be an auctioneer" [Chorus] Twenty-five dollar bid ya now thirty dollar thirty Will ya make it thirty, bid it on a thirty dollar thirty dollar Will ya give me thirty, will ya give me thirty dollar bill? I got a thirty dollar bid ya now Five will ya bid it on a thirty-five, bid it on a thirty-five, thirty-five Who's gonna bid it on a thirty-five dollar bill? [Verse 2] Well, the time went by and he did his best And all could see he did not jest He practiced calling bids both night and day Well, his pappy found him behind the barn Just a-working up an awful storm As he tried to imitate the auctioneer Then his pop said, "Son, we just can't stand To have a mediocre man Selling things at auction using our good name Well, I'm gonna send you off to auction school And then you'll be nobody's fool And you can take your place among the best" [Chorus] Thirty-five dollar bid ya now forty dollar forty Will ya make it forty, bid it on a forty dollar forty dollar Will ya give me forty, will ya give me forty dollar bill? I got a forty dollar bid ya now Five will ya beat it on a forty-five, bid it on a forty-five, forty-five Who's gonna bid it at a forty-five dollar bill? [Verse 3] Well, from that boy that went to school There grew a man who played it cool Well, he come back home a full-fledged auctioneer And the people would come from miles around Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer Then his fame spread out from shore to shore He'd all that he could do and more He had to buy a plane to get around Well now, he's the best in all the land Let's pause and give that man a hand 'Cause he's the best of all the auctioneers [Chorus] Forty-five dollar bid ya now fifty dollar fifty Will ya make it fifty, bid it on a fifty dollar fifty dollar Will ya give me fifty, will ya give me fifty dollar bill? I got a fifty dollar bid ya now Five will ya beat it on a fifty-five, bid it on a fifty-five, fifty-five Who's gonna bid it at a fifty-five dollar bill? [Outro] Well, I sold that hog for a fifty dollar bill