Dialogue 8

Lyrics

[PEPPERMAN, spoken] Are you telling me this woman has been blown off some yacht? [HAIG, spoken] It's the only rational explanation [PEPPERMAN, spoken] For goodness sake, somebody block up that window I can't hear myself think! [HAIG, spoken] If we push these two filing cabinets over to the right— [PEPPERMAN, spoken] Push? I've been pushed all my life Yes, now I'm being shoved, I've been shoved my whole life Push, I'm pushing [HAIG, spoken] Push, you see There we are [WALTER, spoken] Oh my, yes Oh, [?] Oh, oh, yes I'm pushing [LULU, spoken] Hurry up Walter, I'm freezing! [PEPPERMAN, spoken] There is still a very nasty gap at the top, Mr. Haig I can't operate with hailstones flying round me! [HAIG, spoken] I think my wife may be just the ticket If you take the feet, Mr. Stapleton— [WALTER, spoken] She looks strangely peaceful Do you know what my dad said on his death bed? [HAIG, spoken] As a matter of fact, no [WALTER, spoken] I'll never forget his last words He looked at me and said, "I'm, um, I'm not dead y—" I think he was trying to tell me something Those fire engines can't get through the water, can they? [HAIG, spoken] It's all rather odd I mean, what's an oil rig doing in the West End? [WALTER, spoken] Oh, look at that Lulu, Big Ben's on fire! [LULU, spoken] Oh oui! It is very pretty! [WALTER, spoken] But that wave should put it out Ha! What did I tell ya? [HAIG, spoken] Veronica! [PEPPERMAN, spoken] For God's sake get that corpse back on the filing cabinet There's water everywhere Why was I not informed about this water? I've had enough for today! Come on Mrs. Stapleton, I'll drop you back [Explosion in the distance.] [LULU, spoken] In your big black Rolls Royce? [PEPPERMAN, spoken] Yes! What else? [LULU, spoken] It just blew up! "Poof" it went! [PEPPERMAN, spoken] God in heaven! Persecuted personally for two thousand years, and now this! It's a pogrom! [WALTER, spoken] It looks more like an earthquake Did you notice something? [PEPPERMAN, spoken] Certainly! It's in fifty thousand pieces! Fifty thousand tiny hand-tooled pieces! [WALTER, spoken] No I, I meant a while back When Mr. Blint played his piano downstairs, it all went quiet [BLINT, spoken] That's very perceptive of you Mr. Stapleton And rather unexpected in a G major [PEPPERMAN, spoken] The world's falling apart and you talk about G majors? [BLINT, spoken] Yes, I've been trying to tell you for some time about my concerto And how the pyramids link up with seventeen By the look of things outside I'd better work out that awkward transition in the last movement It's quite a tricky exercise to blend fire and water effectively [HAIG, spoken] Oh, don't rush away Mr. Blint—have a drink! We're only just getting to know you What's all the stuff about firewater and your piano? [BLINT, spoken] I've no time to explain that now I could have told you when I popped up before To enquire about the color of the lady's underwear And offered to calm your goldfish But you had more important things to do So have I now I wonder if there is an afterlife? I've given it a great deal of thought, read a fair share of learned tomes But have yet to come down on one side or the other It's getting very dark, isn't it? Either the evenings are drawing in with the advent of summer Or the clouds and smoke are obscuring the sun Personally, I plump for the latter [LULU, spoken] Don't leave us Monsieur Blint I give you nice massage—French even [BLINT, spoken] No, thank you I'll be grateful if you don't all peer at me down my hole (Ah!) It's most distracting, and uh—I don't want to nail up my tarpaulin yet [PEPPERMAN, spoken] Let's get some lights on And what the hell is that? [WALTER, spoken] He started up some machine [HAIG, spoken] I think something must be happening Let's look at the television [WALTER, spoken] Yes, I like to keep informed [OTHERS, spoken] Shhh! [TV ANNOUNCER 1, spoken] The chancellor assured MPs There will be no further cuts in the defence budget Which he described as more than adequate [TV ANNOUNCER 2, spoken] In an atmosphere which was described as constructive World leaders continued to discuss the worsening weather situation A joint communiqué is expected later today [VOICE, spoken] Pull yourself together, soldier [SOLDIER, writing a letter] My dearest Debbie! This is just to let you know that things are looking a trifle bleak It's hard in a way to fight something you can't see I just want you to know, Debbie dear, that I love you and I always will I'm not writing this My old mate Jimbo is doing that 'cause he's still got his arms Then, I'm lucky 'cause I've got me legs I'd better close now darling, 'cause I think I'm going to die Cheerio love!