If I (2018 Version)

Song Meaning

The lyrics paint a picture of someone feeling adrift and disconnected, stuck in a repetitive cycle. The opening verse suggests a sense of being weighed down by "countless burdens" left inside, with time passing so quickly that the narrator hopes to gain clarity on what's been left behind. This sets a tone of introspection and a longing for understanding amidst a blur of days. The core of the song's emotional weight lies in the narrator's struggle to find themselves. They feel lost within the rush of everyday life, unable to locate their present self among the "people passing by quickly." This feeling extends to the future, as they also can't find their tomorrow's self, highlighting a profound sense of existential disorientation and a lack of grounding. The repeated chorus, "If I lie while walking home / If I lost while walking home / If I sleep for walking home / If I fly for walking home," is the most striking element. These conditional phrases, juxtaposing mundane actions like walking home with extreme states – lying down, being lost, sleeping, or flying – create a surreal and unsettling atmosphere. It suggests a desperate wish for any kind of change or escape from the current stasis, even if it means succumbing to extreme circumstances or fantastical possibilities. This lyrical construction effectively conveys a deep-seated feeling of being stuck and a yearning for any form of resolution or transformation. The simple, almost mantra-like repetition of "Just breathe" in the bridge offers a brief moment of pause, a potential anchor amidst the swirling uncertainty. Ultimately, the song resonates through its portrayal of feeling lost in the passage of time and the desperate, almost dreamlike, contemplation of alternative states of being.