Out of the Frying Pan

Lyrics

[PERCY, spoken] Severn cups white flour Three cups oatmeal Four cups brown sugar—packed Two cups shortenin' Four cups buttermilk Five cups apples—chopped Tablespoon of cinnamon Teaspoon of salt Four large fresh eggs—beat Heat oven—three fifty Grease up square pans Coffee cake for thirty-six... Damn! [PERCY] Got a recipe for disaster Turn the stove a little higher Then jump out of the fryin' pan Right into the fire Never ever cooked a meal That didn't start its life out in a can Yes, I'm the queen of TV dinnеrs Pull me outta the fire, back in thе fryin' pan Got my apron tied on backwards And the oatmeal's boiled too long Batch of breakfast biscuits burnin' And the coffee is too strong There's so much butter in the batter It would probably stop the heart of Superman Serve up a side of indigestion Slide me outta the fire, back in the fryin' pan Order up, order up, order up! [SHELBY, spoken] What's this? [PERCY, spoken] Eggs over easy, hash browns, and bacon [SHELBY, spoken] Oh [PERCY, spoken] Why? What's the matter? [SHELBY, spoken] Which is the bacon? [PERCY] Got this lumpy pancake batter And the eggs are all hard fried What the hell could be the matter? Smells like somethin' evil died I swear this corn beef hash Could make me turn into a vegetarian Add a touch too much Tabasco And I'm outta the fire, back in the fryin' pan [SHELBY, spoken] Percy, Effy sent her oatmeal back [PERCY, spoken] Why? [SHELBY, spoken] It's a little thick She could get the spoon in but she can't get it back out [PERCY] I forgot to flip the bacon And the sausage is still raw And the coffee cake I'm makin' Might just be against the law I hear the sirens wail It probably would be better if I ran But there's another dozen orders Get me outta the fire, back in the fryin' pan [PERCY, spoken] So, you think I'm losin' Hannah's customers? [SHELBY, spoken] Oh, they'll come back [PERCY, spoken] Pretty loyal, huh? [SHELBY, spoken] There's nowhere else to eat [PERCY] Yes, I can hear the sirens wail I really should've quit before I began But there's a sink of dirty dishes Get me outta the fire Back in the fryin' pan! Man!