The Lonely Jew On Christmas

Lyrics

[Verse 1] It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas My friends won't let me join in any games And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree Or leave water out for Rudolph 'cause there's something wrong with me My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity [Chorus] I'm a Jew A lonely Jew On Christmas [Verse 2] Hanukkah is nice, but why is it That Santa passes over my house every year? And instead of eating ham, I have to eat kosher latkes Instead of Silent Night, I'm singing 'Huhash Dogavish' And what the fuck is up with lighting all these fucking candles? Tell me, please [Chorus] I'm a Jew A lonely Jew I can't be merry 'Cause I'm Hebrew On Christmas [Bridge] Hey, little girl, I couldn't help but hear You're feeling left out of Christmas cheer But I've come to say that you shouldn't be sad This is the one month that you should be glad [Verse 3] 'Cause it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas You don't have to deal with the season at all You don't have to be on your best behavior or give to charity You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap and have him breathe his stinky breath on me! [Chorus] That's right, you're a Jew A stylin' Jew It's a good time To be Hebrew On Christmas! [Outro] On Christmas