To Keep My Love Alive

Lyrics
[Intro] I've been married and married And often I've sighed I'm never a bridesmaid I'm always the bride I never divorced them I hadn't the heart Yet remember these sweet words "'Til death do us part" [Verse 1] I've married many men, a ton of them And yet I was untrue to none of them Because I bumped off every one of them To keep my love alive [Verse 2] Sir Paul was frail, he looked a wreck to me At night he was a horse's neck to me So I performed an appendectomy To keep my love alive [Bridge] Sir Thomas had insomnia He couldn't sleep at night I bought a little arsenic He's sleeping now all right [Verse 3] Sir Philip played the harp, I cussed the thing I crowned him with his harp to bust the thing And now he plays where harps are just the thing To keep my love alive To keep my love alive [Verse 4] Sir Ethelbert would use profanity His language drove me near insanity So once again I served humanity To keep my love alive [Verse 5] Sir Curtis made me cook each dish he ate And everything his heart could wish he ate Until I fiddled with a fish he ate To keep my love alive [Bridge] Sir Marmaduke was awfully tall He didn't fit in bed I solved that problem easily I just removed his head [Verse 6] Sir Marc adored me with formality He called a kiss an immorality And so I gave him immortality To keep my love alive To keep my love alive
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Credits
- Writers
- Richard Rodgers
- Lorenz Hart
- Rodgers & Hart