Lyrics

I hear birds Calm down, you're supposed to be calm, you know? Like you're just gonna work yourself into a frenzy Would you like a Coke? I hear birds in here I want a beer, Motorhead Yeah, here they come It's about time Oh, Frank looks tired, he must've just done an interview Hello lads, shall we begin? Sure I should get their names first for the big story I'm going to write My name is Don Preston, also know as Don De Wilde or Bif Debris Depending on thе spiritual evolvement of thе role I'm supposed to play I'm Jimmy Carl Black, I'm the Indian of the group What group? Oh, forget it I'm Euclid James Motorhead Sherwood And I came in last in the baritone sax category of the Down Beat Readers Poll for 1970 Uh, gentlemen, I'm sure you're all aware of the fact that we are in an imaginary town Sure, I could tell right away Right, the vibes What's your name supposed to be? My real name is Theodore Bikel But for the purposes of the movie, you must call me Rance Muhammitz Right on, Rance The functioning of our senses has been spiritually impaired and chemically corrupted By the fake artificial food coloring Yeah We must evolve Yeah We must progress Progress There must be growth Yeah, microbiotic food and tie-dye shirts Listen, man, I just wanna know two things Is there any beer in this fake nightclub? And when do we get paid? What sort of beer do you drink, Jimmy Carl Black? This is good human interest material for the big story I'm going to write Let me rephrase that question What kind of beer do you drink, Jimmy Carl Black? Any old kind I can get my mouth on, honey, it don't make a shit to me Gentlemen, gentlemen In a moment or two, you'll be able to get your hands on all the imaginary beer that you want For the moment, I would like to explain some of the things that you'll all be doing in this movie I've been wondering about that For Sherwood Yeah? We have a vacuum cleaner scheduled A vacuum cleaner? And a potential epileptic seizure during a production number later on A vacuum cleaner Oh, a vacuum I thought the two of you would like to get acquainted It says here that you are supposed to be in love This abnormal relationship will be great for the big story I'm going to write And maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe just good friends Yes Now, Mr. Preston, you will be playing a highly evolved and spiritual role So I guess we'll have to call you Bif Debris for the rest of the movie What am I supposed to do? Says you're my nephew You are wise because you've traveled the world You've been to Paris, to London, to Berlin You, uh, know the ropes You meditate, you practice yoga, you play the synthesizer You operate a fake light show in this imaginary nightclub You will be Motorhead's guru Guru? And what is more, Jimmy Carl Black owes you five dollars I thought I was going to get a chance to act, to emote Wear a big cape and a black hat Wait a minute It says here that you get to wear a big cape And a black hat And you can turn into a monster any time you want to The very presence of a monster person in this imaginary town Has a definite bearing on the news value of the TV special they will make From the big story I'm going to write Listen, man, I just wanna know one thing When do we get paid? Look, look, look Don't you even care what you do? As long as I get some beer and I get paid, you can make me do anything I'm professional I'm deeply offended by your lack of artistic sense Look here, Muhammitz, or whatever the fuck they call you I don't even give a shit, man I got five fucking kids at home and Can she lend me a couple of bucks until the end of the week? Who are you, anyway? Oh, she writes for the imaginary rock and roll newspaper in San Francisco San Franci— My niece, my niece I didn't know she was a blood relation Just 'til the weekend Wait a minute Says here I'm supposed to lend you five bucks so you can owe it to me Oh, thanks Donny But, uh, just a minute, will ya? You got any bread? You got any bread? What's he saying? He wants to know if you can lend him a couple bucks 'til the weekend What's he saying? He wants to know if you can lend him a couple bucks 'til the weekend I have to go now and write the big story I'm going to write Where can I read it? I'll send you a copy Thank you You have any idea where you're gonna be living in the next six months? Ah She fuck?