A Secretary Is Not a Toy

Song Meaning

This track lays down a clear, no-nonsense directive to gentlemen in positions of power: a secretary is a professional, not an object for their amusement. The intro immediately sets a tone of admonishment, comparing the disrespect of treating a secretary as a toy to foolishly destroying money or tossing a valuable watch. It’s a stark, almost paternalistic warning that establishes the core message before the verses even begin. The repeated phrase, "a secretary is not a toy," acts as a hammering refrain, driving home the central point with unwavering insistence. The lyrics systematically dismantle any notion that a secretary is available for personal gratification or idle amusement. They are explicitly not for "fondle and dandle," "play therapy," or being tossed around like a "volleyball." The song uses a barrage of dismissive comparisons to highlight what a secretary is *not*, emphasizing their professional role over any perceived personal utility for the employer. This relentless negation serves to strip away the objectifying interpretations the song aims to correct. The true craft shines in the bridge, where the secretary is elevated from a mere object of dismissal to a vital, complex part of the office machinery. Described as a "highly specialized key component" and a "fine and sensitive mechanism," the lyrics reframe her function in terms of operational efficiency and community support, even mentioning a "mother at home." This sophisticated metaphor contrasts sharply with the earlier, crude comparisons, suggesting a deep, intricate value that demands careful handling, not "tamper" or "tinker." The effectiveness of these lyrics lies in their directness and the clever use of contrasting imagery. By repeatedly defining what a secretary is *not* – a toy, a pet, a volleyball, a toy train – the song forces the listener to confront the objectification. Then, the shift to describing her as a crucial, sensitive mechanism highlights her actual professional worth. It’s a blunt but artful way to demand respect for a role that was historically undervalued and often subjected to inappropriate advances.