​serotonin

Song Meaning

The lyrics paint a picture of a charged, potentially illicit encounter that happened years ago, leaving lingering questions about its nature and impact. The narrator revisits a past moment, describing it as "innocent" yet simultaneously questioning if it was "all inside of our heads." This immediate ambiguity sets a tone of uncertainty and regret, hinting at a complex emotional landscape beneath a seemingly simple interaction. The initial scene feels like an attempt to "displace how we felt alone," suggesting a shared loneliness that perhaps fueled the connection. The core tension arises from the blurred lines between genuine feeling and external influence, specifically the "serotonin" and "melatonin" mentioned. The narrator grapples with whether the intense emotions were authentic or a chemical reaction, a "lie at the time." This is amplified by the revelation that "seven years ago, I was falling in love with you" and "seven years ago, you were falling in love with me," a stark contrast to the present questioning. The repeated phrase "there's a lot of things about me you'll never know" underscores a deep-seated secrecy and a sense of being misunderstood or incomplete. The most striking craft element is the deliberate confusion between "serotonin" and "melatonin." Initially, the narrator attributes the intensity to "serotonin," asking "if I'm doing alright," implying a need for reassurance about their emotional state. Later, this shifts to "melatonin," linked to sleepless nights and dreams that "wake up just was in my mind." This lyrical sleight-of-hand suggests that the experience was both a rush of feeling and a source of deep-seated anxiety and sleeplessness, blurring the lines between pleasure and distress. The repetition of "There's a lot of things about you I'll never know" hammers home the enduring mystery and the narrator's inability to fully reconcile the past. This lyrical construction is effective because it mirrors the disorienting nature of memory and intense, perhaps regrettable, past relationships. The ambiguity isn't a weakness but the point; it captures the feeling of looking back at a pivotal moment and realizing how much was unknown or unsaid, both to the other person and to oneself. The interplay between the "innocent" visit and the later admission of "criminal" feelings creates a potent emotional resonance, making the listener question the true nature of youthful connections and the lasting impact of unspoken truths.