​it feels like i’m underwater

Song Meaning

The lyrics paint a picture of someone battling internal turmoil, feeling exposed and vulnerable. The narrator questions if their partner truly understands the depth of their struggle, asking, "Do you find it so much harder than me / To sit and watch me get eaten alive." This sets a tone of isolation, suggesting the partner might not grasp the severity of the 'thoughts that wake me in my sleep.' The dominant feeling is one of being overwhelmed, a struggle that feels intensely personal and difficult for others to witness or comprehend. The central tension lies in the narrator's self-awareness versus their perceived inability to escape their internal struggles. They claim, "I swear that I'm well aware / How I take curses and make them prayers," indicating a conscious effort to reframe negative experiences. However, this is immediately undercut by the chilling image of a "monster under the stairs" that seems to target the partner. This duality suggests a fear that their internal darkness might spill over and harm someone they care about, creating a profound conflict between their desire to cope and the perceived threat they pose. A striking piece of craft is the repeated assertion of awareness juxtaposed with the visceral, almost primal imagery of the monster. The narrator insists they are "well aware" of their coping mechanisms, yet the "monster under the stairs" feels like an external manifestation of their internal state, something that "wants you" and "see[s] it watch you." This personification of anxiety or depression as a predatory entity that fixates on the partner is particularly effective, externalizing the internal threat and making it more tangible and menacing. The effectiveness of these lyrics stems from their raw portrayal of a mind under duress and the fear of infecting a loved one with that darkness. The contrast between the narrator's declared self-awareness and the terrifying, externalized threat of the "monster" creates a palpable sense of dread. The outro, with its desperate pronouncements like "It feels like I'm underwater" and the poignant, almost incongruous desire to "meet your father," encapsulates the overwhelming exhaustion and the yearning for normalcy amidst the internal chaos.