Get Off The Stool

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Well, I walked into a café, feelin' mighty low I could've eaten most anything, but I didn't have no dough Well, a pretty little waitress stared at me and then I heard her say: "Get off the stool, you silly fool, you can't sit there all day" [Refrain] And I said: "Why?" And she said: "'Cause This ain't no place to take a rest And, I ain't Santa Claus" [Verse 2] Well, I went on to a tavern, I didn't have a cent The bartender just looked at me, said: "Bud, you're badly bent Now, we don't care for moocherers, and we don't furnish shade Get off the stool, you silly fool, come back when you get paid" [Refrain] And I said: "Why?" And he said: "'Cause This ain't no place to take a rest And, I ain't Santa Claus" [Verse 3] Well, I went to see my baby, just the another night She asked me for a little kiss, filled my heart with pride She puckered up her painted lips, I said: "Leave me alone" She screamed: "You fool, get off that stool, you might as well go home" [Refrain] And I said: "Why?" And she said: "'Cause This ain't no place to take a rest And, I ain't Santa Claus" [Verse 4] So, I married me a rich widder, she had a Jersey cow Sent me to do the milkin', she thought that I knew how Well, I sat right down in front of Jerz, and the widow she walked in "Get off the stool, you silly fool, get on the other end" [Refrain] And I said: "Why?" She said: "'Cause This ain't no place to take a rest And, I ain't Santa Claus" [Verse 5] Well, I was speedin' down the highway, and someone hollered: "Stop" I kept right on a-goin', didn't know it was a cop He sat me down before the judge, he said: "You'll change your ways Get off the stool, you silly fool, you're here for 30 days" [Refrain] And I said: "Why?" And he said: "'Cause You found a place to take a rest I'll be your Santa Claus You found a place to take a rest I'll be your Santa Claus"