Your Children’s Happiness

Lyrics

[Mr. Halloran] You know what I'm gonna do for you kids? We got this listing, just came in- A floor-through in the lower slope -two bedrooms, kitchen all redone- A find! But will I show it? Nope! I'm putting your names on the lease And for the first whole year, I'll pay your rent And all utilities My wedding present to you No, it's the least I can do Expensive? Yes, I must confess But you can't put a price On your children's happiness A wedding is no place for coupon clippers! Right, Hurley? Our girls [Mrs. Halloran] You should have seen [Mr. Halloran] Their weddings Unbelievable Wore my checkbook down to the bone [Mrs. Halloran] The food was [Mr. Halloran] The appetizer table alone [Mrs. Halloran] So much caviar! [Mr. Halloran] Beluga, of course [Mrs. Halloran] Flown in! [Mr. Halloran] Which cost about two months of what your rent will be Worth every penny! [Mrs. Halloran] So beautiful! [Mr. Halloran] Their beaming faces [Mrs. Halloran] Tears of joy [Mr. Halloran] And fond embraces [Mrs. Halloran] We gave them [Mr. Halloran] The best and nothing less [Mrs. Halloran] You know you can't put a price On your children's happiness [Aggie] Well, we thought we'd give the kids a present of a check—let them do what it is they want [Mrs. Halloran] Why, isn't that practical! [Aggie] Five thousand dollars [Tom] (involuntarily) Five?! (Aggie cuts him off with a glare.) [Mr. and Mrs. Halloran] So Ralph and Jane Are saying they don't want a big affair But who'd complain To find a fancy hall and several hundred people waiting there? [Mr. Halloran] From the moment I discovered That our daughters were engaged I was burning up the phonelines Like a war was being waged And their dreams were all exceeded In the weddings that I staged [Mr. and Mrs. Halloran] After all, your only flesh and blood Deserve things in excess And their special day is worth The huge expenses and the stress So, whether they want a fuss or not The answer should be [Mr. Halloran] Yes! [Mrs. Halloran] Yes! (Winston appears in the doorway)