Maria

Lyrics

[BERTHE] She climbs a tree And scrapes her knee Her dress has got a tear [SOPHIA] She waltzes on her way to mass And whistles on the stair [BERTHE] And underneath her wimple She has curlers in her hair! [SOPHIA] I've even heard her singing in the abbey [BERTHE] She's always late for chapel [MARGARETTA] But her penitence is real [BERTHE] She's always late for everything Except for every meal [MOTHER ABBESS] I hate to have to say it But I very firmly feel [BERTHE AND SOPHIA] Maria's not an asset to the abbey! [MARGARETTA] I'd like to say a word in her behalf Maria makes me laugh! [SOPHIA] How do you solve a problem like Maria? [MOTHER ABBESS] How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? [MARGARETTA] How do you find a word that means Maria? [BERTHE] A flibbertigibbet! [SOPHIA] A will-o'-the-wisp! [MARGARETTA] A clown! [MOTHER ABBESS] Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her Many a thing she ought to understand [MARGARETTA] But how do you make her stay? And listen to all you say? [MOTHER ABBESS] How do you keep a wave upon the sand? [MARGARETTA] Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria? [MOTHER ABBESS] How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand? [MARGARETTA] When I'm with her I'm confused Out of focus and bemused And I never know exactly where I am [SOPHIA] Unpredictable as weather She's as flighty as a feather [MARGARETTA] She's a darling [BERTHE] She's a demon [MARGARETTA] She's a lamb [SOPHIA] She'd out-pester any pest Drive a hornet from its nest [BERTHE] She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl [MARGARETTA] She is gentle She is wild [SOPHIA] She's a riddle [MARGARETTA] She's a child [BERTHE] She's a headache! [MARGARETTA] She's an angel! [MOTHER ABBESS] She's a girl [ALL NUNS] How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Maria? A flibbertigibbet? A will-o'-the-wisp? A clown Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her Many a thing she ought to understand But how do you make her stay And listen to all you say? How do you keep a wave upon the sand? Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?