Somebody Has Got to Take the Blame

Lyrics

[ELLIE] I infantilize my daughter I'm controlling, I'm a pill I micro-micromanage I'm all up in her grill [KATHERINE, spoken] It's called parenting [ELLIE] I demand that she be perfect All that pressure, all that fuss I'm a parenting disaster Don't you think so? Let's discuss [KATHERINE] Forgive my darling mother and forget each thing she said Put the blame where it belongs now Squarely on my head I'm reckless and I'm feckless I go and get tattoos I think it's called a tramp stamp I can show you if you choose [ELLIE, spoken] No no no no! At least she doesn't smoke like me! I smoke! [KATHERINE] My faults are much too numerous to name [ELLIE] It's awful to admit, but that's the game [KATHERINE] Somebody has got to take [ELLIE] Somebody has got to take [BOTH] Somebody has got to take the blame! [DR. AARON] Aha! It's a single-parent family So you both are filled with rage [MR. WILSON] Her development arrested at the pre-preverbal stage [DR. AARON] Or it could be ADHD, ADD or STDs I suggest that you try Ritalin and yoga and soy cheese [ELLIE, spoken] Soy cheese? [KATHERINE, spoken] This is asinine [MR. WILSON] She's functionally unpunctual, she's raucous and she's rude [ELLIE] Excuse me, es mi hija, so perder la attitude [MS. PERKINS] She's intelligent [ELLIE, spoken] Ya hear that? [DR. AARON] But unfocused, barely there [MR. WILSON] I think she smokes the ganja [ELLIE, spoken] She does not! [KATHERINE, spoken] I don't? [ELLIE] I swear! [DR. AARON] She's wasting her potential just the same [ELLIE] It's not her fault if she's too bright to tame [ALL] But somebody has got to take Somebody has got to take Somebody has got to take the— [MS. PERKINS] Enough with all the blaming and the shaming! No, you hush The armchair, analyzing and the psychobabble mush I'm a teacher, I should reach her So the failure here is mine She's bright and she's articulate Her heart and mind are fine In all this finger-pointing, this crusade No one thought to check her file To see she struggled for a while Since the seventh grade [KATHERINE, spoken] The year Dad passed away [ELLIE, spoken] Just say died He died [KATHERINE] Oh, Honey, I've been thoughtless and for years I never thought your anger stood for tears It's clear to me I have to take the— [ELLIE] Listen, do we have to do this now? I'd rather not discuss it, anyhow It's high school counselor BS all the same 'Cause nobody has got to take the blame [KATHERINE, spoken] Let's wrap this up Dr. Aaron, I appreciate all the feedback From now on, I'm going to be very good [MR. WILSON] But somebody has got to take the blame! [MS. PERKINS, spoken] Oh, can it, Kevin!