Song Meaning

The lyrics open with an intense, almost paradoxical description of a beloved figure, who is both a vast "desert, the line" and a defining boundary. This person permeates the narrator's waking and sleeping thoughts, appearing in every corner of their life. The immediate emotional texture is one of deep, pervasive attachment. A central tension emerges between this all-consuming present love and a nostalgic yearning for past states of being. The narrator repeatedly recalls a time "in love, with the sky" and "with my window at twilight," suggesting a more abstract, perhaps solitary, appreciation for the world. This past love feels like a "drug" or "quite a high," hinting at a freedom or detachment that contrasts with the current intense focus. The lyrics then delve into a vivid internal landscape, describing "the back room of my memory" where "a small boy stocking shelves" represents unwritten dreams and forgotten aspirations. This imagery of "numbered periodicals" and "my many other selves" — including a "typist on the bottle" and a "stock boy only twelve" — powerfully conveys a sense of fragmented identity or lost potential. These past versions of the self seem to exist in a state of arrested development, perhaps overshadowed by the present. The repeated refrain, "I was in love, with not knowing, anything at all," encapsulates the core emotional conflict. It suggests a profound longing for a simpler, less burdened existence, contrasting sharply with the current deep, perhaps overwhelming, connection to the "dearly beloved." The effectiveness lies in how the lyrics juxtapose the all-encompassing nature of present love with a wistful look back at a past defined by freedom, abstract appreciation, and a comforting ignorance.