Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Miss Lucy had some leeches Her leeches liked to suck And when they drank up all her blood She didn't give a— [Verse 2] Funny, when the doctors Had locked her in her cell Miss Lucy screamed all night that they Should go to bloody— [Verse 3] Hello to the surgeon With scalpel old and blunt He'll tie you to the table Then he'll mutilate your— [Verse 4] Come, it's nearly teatime The lunatics arrive The keepers bleed them all until There's no one left a— [Verse 5] Lively little rodents Are eaten up by cats We're subject to experiments Like laboratory— [Verse 6] Rats, I've dropped a teacup How easily they break I'm on my hands and knees until I pay for my mis— [Verse 7] Take off all your clothing We've only just begun We have no anesthesia It's eighteen forty— [Verse 8] One thing we should tell you Before you try again The tests are invented by A lot of filthy— [Verse 9] Mentally hysteric She's failed the exam Don't bother telling Lucy, for She doesn't give a— [Verse 10] Damn, that's nitrous oxide For when you can't escape They say the surgeons oft commit A murder or a— [Verse 11] Razorblades are rusty And not a lot of fun So when they try to amputate Your legs you'd better— [Verse 12] Run and fetch the chemist A patient's feeling sad She's been in chains for ages And she isn't even— [Verse 13] Madness is a nuisance And no one is immune Your sister, mum, or daughter May become a raving— [Verse 14] Lunatics are dangerous And doctors are obeyed They also go together just Like toast and marma— [Verse 15] Ladies are like children With brains the size of squirrels Let's give clitoridectomies To all the little— [Verse 16] Girls are helpless treasures That daddies must protect So lie upon the table For the doctors to in— [Verse 17] Speculums are super And stirrups all the rage So spread a lady's legs and then put her Back in to her— [Verse 18] Cage of naked crazies The surgeon's here to bleed The doctors are all learned men And some can even— [Verse 19] Reading can be risky For women on the verge It only did us worlds of good To poison, leech, and— [Verse 20] Purging is a penance Phlebotomy's a chore No need to sterilize the tools We never did be— [Verse 21] 'Fore the night is over Before you go to bed They'll take a hammer and nail And jam it in your— [Verse 22] Headstones in the courtyard And statues in the park Are not for the insane Just leave them rotting in the [Outro] D-A-R-K Dark Dark Dark Dark Dark