Song Meaning
The lyrics present a raw, almost defiant take on "self-care." It’s not about bubble baths and spa days, but a gritty, unvarnished list of actions: screaming into a pillow, taking a shower, and masturbating for an hour. These are visceral, immediate responses to feeling overwhelmed, stripping away any pretense of gentle wellness.
The central tension lies in the admission that this kind of self-care "can feel like hell." The narrator isn't finding peace, but rather engaging in a desperate, almost mechanical process to simply get through the moment. The act of "getting on the apps / getting off the apps" further highlights this cyclical, frustrating struggle for connection or distraction.
The most striking element is the imagined scenario: "So I imagine that I'm somebody else / And i treat them well." This suggests a profound disconnect, where the narrator can only offer kindness and care to a constructed persona, not to themselves. It’s a powerful, bleak image of self-estrangement.
This approach hits hard because it acknowledges the messy, unglamorous reality of mental strain. It validates the feeling that even basic acts of self-preservation can be a monumental effort, resonating with anyone who's felt too depleted to genuinely care for themselves.
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