Auf das, was war

Song Meaning

This track opens with a raw declaration of distrust: "Ich traue niemand, alles bloß inszeniert." The narrator feels surrounded by artifice, yet a flicker of hope persists, with days where they "fühl' ich mich wieder so wie vor dir." This contrast between pervasive suspicion and fleeting moments of past self highlights a deep disconnect, a feeling of not knowing the person they're with anymore. The core tension lies in this recognition of distance, coupled with a stubborn, perhaps irrational, belief that change is still possible: "Aber trotzdem denk' ich immer noch, ich kann was dran ändern." The lyrics paint a picture of self-destructive behavior masked by outward appearances. The narrator describes driving "auf die Wand zu" while others perceive it as "Karriere," a stark image of internal turmoil being misinterpreted as success. This is amplified by a fear of their own future self, "hab' Angst vor, was ich werde," and a profound sense of emptiness, questioning the authenticity of love itself. The recurring motif of looking in the mirror and not recognizing oneself ("erkenne mich nicht wieder") underscores a crisis of identity, a feeling of being lost and fundamentally altered. The second verse details a descent into coping mechanisms, with "zwei Flaschen Wein an 'nem Tag" and a reliance on "Cannabis." The narrator admits to being "viel zu impulsiv," bouncing "vom einen Extrem zu dem anderen" and struggling to find any balance. Yet, even amidst this chaos, a paradoxical observation emerges: "in den Pfützen auf dem Boden, Baby, spiegelt sich der Himmel." This suggests that even in the lowest moments, there's a reflection of something greater, a potential for beauty or clarity, prompting the question, "sag mir, wo ich bin und ich sag' dir, wo ich hin will." The repeated "Seit du gone bist" in the outro anchors the entire narrative to a loss. The internal conflict, the distrust, the self-medication, and the identity crisis all seem to stem from this absence. The effectiveness of the lyrics lies in their unflinching portrayal of this post-loss struggle, where the narrator grapples with a fractured sense of self and a desperate, albeit possibly futile, hope for repair, all while the world outside misinterprets their breakdown as progress.