Song Meaning

The narrator, a figure from "the night of time," arrives to recount a bizarre, forgotten past to the "People of the Year 2000." This past is presented as a time of "tranquil joy" where humanity's sole sacred goal was "tiercé" (a form of betting), a pursuit they'd abandon for a simple keychain. This idyllic scene is shattered by a "great battle" between two factions, the "Beatniks and antis," whose slogans and weapons—guitars and scissors—are comically trivial given the stakes. The narrator, appointed as an "arbitrator," witnesses their refusal to heed his counsel. The central conflict hinges on a petty obsession: hair. The "two idols" ignite the world "for a lock of hair," dividing the planet into "two very curious clans." The narrator laments their stubbornness, noting they preferred fighting and "profiting from this publicity" over considering that their scalps would be "deserted" by forty. This highlights a profound absurdity, where a trivial aesthetic difference leads to global conflict, with even "Blue Helmets" being overwhelmed by the bizarre war. The most striking craft element is the juxtaposition of grand conflict language with mundane details. Phrases like "great battle," "terrible," and "bloody match" are used to describe a war fought over hair with "guitars and scissors." The narrator's role as an "arbitrator" for such a ridiculous dispute underscores the song's satirical tone. The repetition of "Beatniks and antis" and their "slogans" further emphasizes the manufactured nature of this conflict. Ultimately, the lyrics' effectiveness lies in their absurd premise and the narrator's deadpan delivery of a nonsensical history lesson. The concluding moral—that "hair is ungrateful" and not worth singing about—serves as a sharp, ironic commentary on how easily trivialities can escalate into devastating conflicts. The narrator's final warning to the "People of the Year 2000" against repeating this "terrible civil war" leaves the listener contemplating the roots of human division.