I’ll Never Be Jealous Again

Lyrics

[MABEL, spoken] Hinesy, Hinesy.  [HINES, spoken] I've learned my lesson, Mabel. I'll never be jealous again.  [MABEL, spoken] You stick to that now.  [HINES, spoken] Absolutely.  [MABEL] Now that's easier said than done [HINES] I can do it [MABEL] I knew it But let's take an example, just for fun Picture this You're sitting here waiting for her to come back from a date [HINES] There I am I'm sitting and waiting for her to come back from a date [MABEL] Here she comes Her blouse is unbuttoned, her stockings are not very straight [HINES] Here she comes Her blouse is unbuttoned, her stockings are not very straight [MABEL] Later on She gets a bouquet with a card in it saying "To baby, you were great" (spoken) Well, Hinesy, what would you do then? [HINES] I would trust her I would trust her By George, I swear I would trust her No, I'll never be jealous again [MABEL, spoken] Nice work, Hinesy.  [HINES, spoken] Oh, I know I can do it, Mabel.  [MABEL, spoken] Now let's take another example.  (sung) Picture this You've nothing to do so you drop in to chat for awhile [HINES] There I am With nothing to do so I drop in to chat for awhile [MABEL] Something's up The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile [HINES] Something's up The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile [MABEL] There you see A shirt and a tie and pair of pants in a nice neat little pile (spoken) Well, Hinesy? [HINES] I would trust her I would trust her By George, I swear I would trust her No, I'll never be jealous I'll never never never never Never never never never Never be jealous again [MABEL, spoken] That's the stuff, Hinesy. You're practically cured! [HINES] There will be no more nightmares to sleep through No more keyholes to peep through [MABEL] No more bushes to creep through [HINES] That's my plan [MABEL] Well, now that you're a new man Picture this You go to your sweetie's apartment, you borrow the keys [HINES] There I am I go to my sweetie's apartment, I borrow the keys [MABEL] There she is She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze [HINES] There she is She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze [MABEL] Then, to boot She tells you she was in the arms of a cousin Who's back from overseas [HINES, spoken] A cousin back from overseas? Do you expect me to bel— [MABEL, spoken] Hinesy... [HINES] I would trust her I would trust her By George, I swear I would trust her No, I'll never be jealous I'll never never never never Never never never never Never never never never Never never never Never be jealous again