Merry Muthafuckin’ Xmas

Lyrics

[Intro: Dolemite, Kids & Mother] Come on over, honey, and give your Uncle Dolemite a kiss (*lips smack*) Well, what you want, baby? Would you tell me a story? You want me to tell you a story? Hell yeah! (Me too) Yes, honey, I'm 'on tell you a story about the badass Eazy-E He was drinkin' whiskey and gin at the age of three Listen and listen well, he's a bad motherfu- Give me that goddamn book! Here, let me read you this one, "Christmas in Compton" It was a silent night, yes, a holy night Until Mr. Claus turned into Santa motherfuckin' Wright? [Interlude: Carollers, Eazy-E] Deck the halls with boughs of holly Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 'Tis the season to be jolly Merry Christmas, motherfucker! *gunshots* [Verse 1: Eazy-E] Merry motherfuckin' Christmas and a ho-ho-ho While I'm riding that cock under the mistletoe Now I'm dashing through the snow (Ooh) In a candy rag top, 6'4" (Hittin' them switches) Over the hills I go Laughing at this ho Nuts on her chin ring Makin' me feel right Oh, what fun it is to know that I'm gonna get this pussy tonight So ring them bells, ring them bells, she's taking it all the way Oh, what fun it is to watch her suck my dick this way, hey Ring them bells, ring them bells, she's taking it all the way Oh, what fun it is to nut while she's sucking my dick Okay, stop! 'Tis is the season to get bitten Cop some chronic, and I'm smoking all this shit [Interlude: Santa] Ho-ho-ho-ho! Come sit on my face, I mean lap And tell me what you want for Christmas, ho-ho-ho! [Verse 2: Menajahtwa] I want a sleigh ride, a Christmas Eve sippin' rum She said I slide down the chimney and I'm full of cum A VCR on the slip with nothin' but porno flicks Give her some Rudolph the red-nosed rein-dick Did ya last long like an everlasting gobstopper? Give me a pump for his cock, he'll be the party popper I dig a ho, crackin' dough by the North Pole I wanna be having a hell of a good time fuckin' in the snow A trap to drop to his knees, yeah, you know what's up I nut in crack candy canes, pay him to eat 'em up Ain't excited now, I'm jumping down, swinging by my toes Send me some change, I want the candy cream to keep me loot On the first day, send me a little jack, horny guy The second day, give me a Georgie Porgie pudding pie Yeah, so all on the hunt, bon appétit With a condom in nut a tree! [Bridge: Buckwheat] All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth My two front teeth, my two front teeth All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth Yo, where's ya rhyme? Call me Buckwheat [Verse 3: Buckwheat] Buckwheat is a rascal that stole Christmas And all the toys, boys and girls, fuck ya wishes I'm not happy, overjoyed in this motherfucker No indo under my tree, so Santa be a sucker Go shit on the roof, cough up Rudolph's nuts When I was young, I was the only kid who had enough guts to be Good all year, and on the Eve, I'd stay awake Just to let America know that Santa was a fake I used to believe in Saint Dick when Elvis was alive But all that fucking bullshit got played when I was five Years old, just stay young, bold writing Singing "Silent Night", caroling, reciting Now all I want for Christmas is my indo wreath I got my two front teeth Uncle Eazy be the jeezy, and just break me a leaf Little kids, don't cry when you find out the Santa Claus is just a fucking lie [Bridge: Eazy-E] On the third day of Christmas, my homeboys gave to me Three pounds of indo Two birds of cocaine And a A, motherfuckin' K, bitch [Chorus: Menajahtwa (Bitches) & Eazy-E] Eazy-E, oh, Eazy-E Show us how you treat those bitches I saw mommy fucking Eazy Claus Close the door, little bitch, I'm getting these draws I'ma tell my daddy if ya ass don't stop I don't give a fuck, I'm getting Christmas cock Ho-ho-ho! And away I go Oh, Saint Nick's got a dick like a pole! Well, where's our shit? This motherfucker's cheap Oh, shut the fuck up, bitches, and go back to sleep! [Verse 4: Will 1X] Yo, black, what do you want for Christmas? (Yo, black, I want a job) But for my Christmas, gonna get fucked up, bae don't want some corn-on-the-cob A Jew will eat some matzo ball soup, but a nigga will eat some Chicken and chitlins, watermelon, cornbread, and some Froot Loops Now who's caroling in my window? Smokin' up indo Mechalecha high, make a high note [Verse 5: apl.de.ap] Ho-ho! Get out my fucking yard with your carols You wanna get busy? It's soundin' like a... Bop-bop-bop-bop, I am a rhymer I'm talkin' 'bout the Atban Klann will make shit come slam, it's Christmas time The Simple Simon Christmas make me jam, jam, jam [Verse 6: Will1X] Yo, what you want for Christmas? Yo, black, I want some cash So I can buy some indo, chronic, and some hash [Verse 7: Atban Klann (Will1X & apl.de.ap)] Yo, here comes the Atban Klann rough and rugged With a rump-pa-bum-bum A rump-pa-bum-bum [Refrain] Merry motherfuckin' Christmas Merry motherfuckin' Christmas Merry motherfuckin' Christmas And have a fucked up New Year Merry motherfuckin' Christmas Merry motherfuckin' Christmas Merry motherfuckin' Christmas And have a fucked up New Year Merry motherfuckin' Christmas Merry motherfuckin' Christmas Merry motherfuckin' Christmas And have a fucked up New Year Merry motherfuckin' Christmas Merry motherfuckin' Christmas Merry motherfuckin' Christmas And have a fucked up New Year Merry motherfuckin' Christmas Merry motherfuckin' Christmas Merry motherfuckin' Christmas And have a fucked up New Year [Outro: Eazy-E & Mother] You bitch! And they all went to prison, and lived fucked up lives ever after The end...