Parents Just Don’t Understand

Lyrics

[Intro] You know, parents are the same no matter time nor place They don't understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes So, to you other kids all across the land There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand [Verse 1] I remember one year My mom took me school shopping It was me, my brother, my mom Oh, my pop and my little sister All hopped in the car We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall My mom started buggin' with the clothes she chose I didn't say nothin' at first, I just turned up my nose She said, "What's wrong? This shirt cost twenty dollars" I said, "Mom, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar" The next half hour was the same old thing My mother buyin' me clothes from 1963 And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips [Verse 2] I said, "Mom, what are you doin'? You're ruining my rep" She said, "You're only sixteen, you don't have a rep yet" I said, "Mom, let's put these clothes back, please?" She said "No, you go to school to learn, not for a fashion show" I said, "This isn't Sha-Na-Na, come on mom, I'm not Bowzer Mom, please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers But if you don't want to, I can live with that, but You gotta put back the double-knit reversible slacks" [Verse 3] She wasn't with it, everything stayed the same Inevitably, the first day of school came I thought I could get over her, I tried to play sick But my mom said, "No, no way, uh-uh, forget it" There was nothing I could do, I tried to relax I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts And when I walked into school, it was just as I thought The kids were crackin' up laughing at the clothes Mom bought And those who weren't laughin' still had a ball 'Cause they were pointing and whispering as I walked down the hall I got home and told my mom how my day went She said, "If they were laughing, you don't need 'em 'Cause they're not good friends: For the next six hours, I tried to explain to my mom That I was gonna have to go through this about two-hundred more times [Refrain] So, to you all the kids all across the land There's no need to argue. parents just don't understand [Verse 4] Okay, here's the situation My parents went away on a week's vacation And they left the keys to the brand new Porsche Would they mind? Um, well, of course not I'll just take it for a little spin And maybe show it off to a couple of friends I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood Well, maybe I shouldn't Yeah, of course, I should Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block That's when I saw this beautiful girlie-girl walkin' I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talkin' You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions I honked my horn just to get her attention She said, "Was that for me?" I said, "Yeah", she said, "Why?" I said, "Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy" She said, "How do I know you're not sick? You could be some deranged lunatic" I said, "C'mon, toots, my name is the Prince Besides, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?" She agreed and we were on our way She was lookin' very good and so was I, I must say, word We hit McDonald's, pulled into the drive We ordered two Big Macs and two large fries, with Cokes She kicked her shoes off onto the floor She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on" She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast [Verse 5] The sunroof was open, the music was high And this girl's hand was steadily movin' up my thigh She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car We're doin' ninety in my Mom's new Porsche And to make this long story short, short When the cop pulled me over, I was scared as hell I said, "I don't have a license, but I drive very well, officer" Almost had a heart attack that day Come to find out the girl was a twelve year-old runaway I was arrested, the car was impounded There was no way for me to avoid bein' grounded My parents had to come off from vacation to get me I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me My parents walked in, I got my grip I said, "Uh, mom, dad, how was your trip?" They didn't speak, I said, "I wanna plead my case" But my father just shoved me in the car by my face That was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived They took turns, one would beat me while the other was drivin' I can't believe it, I just made a mistake [Refrain] Well, parents are the same no matter time nor place So, to you other kids all across the land Take it from me, parents just don't understand