Song Meaning
The lyrics paint a picture of someone grappling with unspoken gratitude, particularly towards a maternal figure and another significant person who offered words of encouragement. The opening lines, "Always, always, thank you. Why can't I say that?" immediately establish a core tension: the inability to express thanks despite a deep well of appreciation. This internal struggle is framed against the backdrop of personal growth and doubt, marked by the progression through months and the feeling of being lost.
The narrator's journey is punctuated by moments of profound self-doubt and the pressure to appear strong. The mention of the daphne flower, "eating the love in the bento box but leaving it uneaten," suggests a struggle to accept or fully process the nourishment and care offered, perhaps due to a feeling of unworthiness or an inability to reciprocate. This is compounded by the "forgotten how to smile" in December, indicating a period of deep emotional distress where even simple expressions of happiness feel out of reach.
A key element is the contrast between the narrator's internal turmoil and the external encouragement received. The phrases "true strength isn't about not losing" and "isn't it the courage you choose, rather than the path you choose?" highlight the wisdom imparted by others, serving as guiding principles. The narrator's desire to become a "full-fledged flower" implies a yearning for self-actualization, a process that is explicitly linked to resilience, "getting up even when trampled," and the support of friends.
The lyrics effectively convey the weight of unexpressed feelings and the fear of disappointing loved ones. The repeated plea, "If only I could have told you all of it," underscores the regret associated with this silence. The narrator's hope that they will be met with a smile even if they give up reveals a deep-seated need for unconditional acceptance. Ultimately, the song culminates in a breakthrough, a realization that expressing gratitude is not just a possibility but a necessity for moving forward, encapsulated in the resolve, "Today, I have to be able to say that."
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