Cooler than You

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I'm twenty four, I don't own a tie I don't have a job and I love to get high My hairline's receding, I'm getting a gut I love to jerk off and I love to read smut [Verse 2] I can't beat you up, I can't run a mile I'm not Calvin Klein, but I gots my own style I smoke a pack a day, on a good day it's two But with all my faults I'm still cooler than you [Chorus] Cooler than you I am cooler than you [Verse 3] I can't drive a stick, I don't really surf My parents disowned me 'cause I'm a real jerk I don't really cook and I don't wash my car I can't program the timer on my VCR [Verse 4] I hate doing laundry, can't stand washing a plate I haven't seen a girl naked since 1988 I know this sounds wrong but believe me it's true With all this against me, I'm still cooler than you [Chorus] Cooler than you I am cooler than you [Verse 5] Now you must realize I don't mean what I say But lying to myself helps me get through the day We are the same, we are Abbot and Lou You are as I and I are as you [Outro] As you I am, I am I am cooler than you