Song Meaning
Devendra Banhart's "First Song for B" isn't just a love song; it's a raw, almost desperate plea for transformation through another person. The opening imagery is fluid and natural – streams, a Native American figure, corn leaves – creating a sense of gentle, almost psychedelic, surrender. But this isn't passive; it's a deliberate act of letting go. The lines about taking root and rising from the fire suggest a shedding of the old self, leaving behind the vulnerability of "being match wood" for something stronger, something that can "rise out of the fire." The desire for the object of his affection to be "the one who's first light harbors in the new day" speaks volumes about the hope projected onto this relationship: a hope for renewal and the courage to inhabit one's true self without fear. The repeated line, "I take everything as a good sign, because I'm in love," highlights how infatuation can warp perception, turning the mundane into the miraculous.
However, the song takes a darker, more complex turn in its final lines. The declaration, "Now I give myself to you alone," is followed by the chilling admission that "no more knives hang above me," implying a past trauma or a constant state of anxiety that love has seemingly alleviated. Yet, the repeated, almost mantra-like, request, "Please destroy me, please destroy me," is where the song's true meaning resides. It’s not merely about romantic love; it's about the terrifying vulnerability that comes with complete surrender. It's an acknowledgment that to truly be reborn, the old self must be completely dismantled, even if that process is painful and frightening.
Banhart's plea isn't necessarily masochistic, but rather an expression of the ego's fear of dissolution. The "B" in the title becomes a cipher for the catalyst of this transformative process. Is it a lover? A muse? Ultimately, "First Song for B" explores the paradox of love as both a source of immense comfort and a force capable of obliterating the very foundations of one's identity. The song leaves the listener with the unsettling question of whether such destruction is a necessary prelude to true self-discovery or a dangerous act of self-annihilation.
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