Lyrics

Speed dating, speed dating Tick, cross, tick, cross, tick No more waiting Instant mating It's a New York thing Hi Randy from Texas You're brand new in Manhattan You think Britain's a nice city Line dancing's on the edge Well... You've got fourteen older sisters You can't read but you like wrestling There's a soup like you in England It's called Thick County Veg Cross You're Todd from the East Village Oh, you're terrified of women Your shrink has set you homework Do I think you're really sick? Your mother called you Daddy Oh, and locked you in a suitcase Wearing nothing but a bowtie Hence your nervous tic Woo... Cross Hello Steve from Brooklyn You're a regular speed dater You tick every girl you meet here Try to stop licking your lips You're not strictly under 30 More like 55 and counting But you think you pass for 40 Maybe during an eclipse Heh... Cross Speed dating, speed dating Tick, cross, tick, cross, tick No more waiting Instant mating It's a New York thing Yeah, nice to meet you, Nick from New Hope What a lovely gentle handshake Your skin's so soft and silky And your features are so fine You're a new post op transsexual Need to roadtest your equipment Look, I don't mean to be picky But I'd ditch that chat up line Yeah... Cross Well hi there Scott from Chelsea You're a civil rights attorney You love wine and conversation I'll be seeing you again You give expert accupressure Oh, you know all about the G spot You always stand for ladies Christ - you're only four foot ten? Cross Speed dating, speed dating Tick, cross, tick, cross, tick No more waiting Instant mating It's a New York thing Speed dating, speed dating Tick, cross, tick, cross, tick No more waiting Instant mating It's a New York thing Tyler King My pleasure You're a boss at William Morris? You're an agent to the stars? Wow Oh, you've only come for your friend Pete Me? Well, I'm here to start a new life That's if I get my green card You have friends in immigration? Seems I've landed on my feet Tick