Always & Forever

Song Meaning

The lyrics immediately plunge into a bleak internal landscape, haunted by "awful songs" and a desperate wish for things to "fucking end." A pervasive sense of being watched, coupled with a morbid fascination with the "afterlife," sets a deeply unsettling tone. The speaker seems trapped in a cycle of mental anguish, yearning for release. This immediate dive into despair establishes a raw, unfiltered emotional core. A core tension emerges from the speaker's conflicting feelings about a past connection. There's a longing – "I wish you'd love me like you did" – immediately undercut by visceral revulsion: "I think of you and feel just sick." This push-pull suggests a relationship that left deep scars, leaving the speaker unable to "feel any love again" and struggling to recall how things "went." The emotional whiplash is palpable, highlighting a profound internal struggle. The jarring inclusion of "That MacBook makeup tutorial" stands out as a particularly potent detail. Amidst declarations of intense suffering and suicidal ideation, this mundane, almost absurd image creates a stark contrast. It suggests a desperate attempt to maintain a facade, or perhaps a glimpse into the everyday world the speaker feels utterly disconnected from, highlighting the profound isolation and the "all pretend" nature of their perceived reality. The lyrics achieve their emotional impact through relentless repetition and stark contradictions. Phrases like "awful songs are in my head" and the recurring chorus about the "afterlife" create a cyclical, inescapable feeling of torment. The speaker's self-awareness – "I know I act so creepy" – alongside pleas like "I love you, don't make me," paints a picture of a mind at war with itself, unable to reconcile desire with self-loathing. This internal conflict, coupled with the repeated desire for "times would sever," makes the internal struggle feel raw and deeply personal.