Adelaide’s Lament

Lyrics

[Intro] Like it says here in this book: [Verse 1] "The average unmarried female Basically insecure Due to some long frustration, may react With psychosomatic symptoms Difficult to endure Affecting the upper respiratory tract" [Pre-Chorus] In other words, just from waitin' around For that plain little band of gold A person can develop a cold [Chorus] You can spray her wherever you figure The streptococci lurk You can give her a shot for whatever's she's got But it just won't work If she's tired of getting the fish-eye From the hotel clerk A person can develop a cold [Verse 2] "The female remaining single Just in the legal sense Shows a neurotic tendency See note" Note "And chronic, organic syndromes Toxic or hypertense Involving the eye, the ear, the nose, and throat" [Pre-Chorus] In other words, just from worryin' whether The weddin' is on or off A person can develop a cough [Chorus] You can feed her all day with the vitamin A And the Bromo Fizz But the medicine never gets anywhere near Where the trouble is If she's gettin' a kind of a name for herself And the name ain't his A person can develop a cough [Pre-Chorus] And furthermore, just from stallin' and stallin' And stallin' the wedding trip A person can develop la grippe [Chorus] When they get on the train for Niagara She can hear church bells chime The compartment is air-conditioned And the mood sublime Then they get off at Saratoga For the fourteenth time A person can develop la grippe [Post-Chorus] La grippe, la postnasal drip With the wheezes and the sneezes And a sinus that's really a pip From a lack of community property And a feeling she's gettin' too old A person can develop a bad, bad cold!