He And She

Lyrics

[LUCE] I was I You were you And now we're only we We are one Who were two Or we had better be [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] "I now pronounce you man and wife" Are magic words like "Open sesame" [LUCE] But though they made you mine for life They also made you think much less of me [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] It only shows how little you know of it [LUCE] I know a pair who made quite a go of it He was a man who was very fond of women She was a girl who was very fond of men She had a taste for both corpulent and slim men Hе wouldn't look at a lady under ten She wеnt abroad just to find a man to marry He went abroad just to find himself a wife She didn't want any Tom or Dick or Harry He sought a mate who'd be true to him for life She fell in love with the angle of his eyebrow He fell in love with the dimple on her knee And when they wed He went around with other women And she went with other men And that is he and she! [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] He always said, "I would like to have a daughter" She always said, "I would like to have a son" She took to kids like a duckling takes to water He always thought having babies would be fun He told her this on the very day he met her She said, "The wish is the father to the sport" He bought a house, in the nursery he set her She helped the stork make his annual report He won renown as the father of a squadron She won awards for her prolificacy And just because And just because they loved their children They got married after all And that is he and she! She was so pure as the snow before it's driven [LUCE] He never smoked and he never touched a drop [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] When she said "boo" she would ask to be forgiven [LUCE] When he would swim, he would always wear the top [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She wore no rouge though she had a bad complexion [LUCE] He always prayed every time he went to bed [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She was so kind that she hated vivisection [LUCE] He loved his ma and he swore he'd never wed [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She was so chaste that it made her very nervous [LUCE] He loved to go to the vicarage for tea [LUCE & DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] And when they died And when they died and went to heaven All the angels moved to hell And that is he and she!