Good Little Dictation Machines

Lyrics

[Intro, Translator Batez (Chantal Claret), Translator Bentz (Jimmy Urine), both] Once there was a time you needed transcripts And triplicates and duplicates to log By letter, bone, and tar, and as the time slipped Stenographers and upstrikers and slogs Yes, it was a sorry time for chalking Every foot and header to be drawn But now we have machines to write the talking The days of breaking hands with words are gone! [Chorus, Translator Batez and Translator Bentz] See how we dictate of you, translate for you! Cutting conversation, every tongue in harmonation And transmit to you, make writ of you! Spinning mandrels, innovating ways to make you talk! [Verse 1, Translator Batez, Translator Bentz, both] Lift the tube and mouthpiece from the gurdy Aim the dictator against your pout Depress the metal treadle with your derbies Oh, how the waxy barrel spins about! Beat your jaws and start the duplication A needle traces every err and tone Listen back to your domestication A hearing! And a sentence! Through the phones! [Chorus, Translator Batez and Translator Bentz] See how we dictate of you, translate for you! Cutting conversation, every tongue in harmonation And transmit to you, make writ of you! Spinning mandrels, innovating ways to make you talk! Dictate of you, translate for you! Cutting conversation, every tongue in harmonation And transmit to you, make writ of you! Spinning mandrels, innovating ways to make you - [Verse 2, Translator Batez, Translator Bentz, both] Finally, the shaving engine cycles Whittling the wax down to the skin So the cylinder can be recycled To try your testimony once again! Bolt your words and measure your intentions Rid yourself of every hiss and hoarse Fidelity's the gristle of invention Capturing our voices for the court! [Chorus, Translator Batez and Translator Bentz] See how we dictate of you, translate for you! Cutting conversation, every tongue in harmonation And transmit to you, make writ of you! Spinning mandrels (spinning mandrels, spinning mandrels...) Innovating ways to make you talk!