Could You Use Me?

Lyrics

[DANNY] Have some pity on an Easterner Show a little sympathy No one possibly could be sterner Than you have been with me There's a job that I'm applying for Let me put it to you thus It's a partnership I'm dying for Mr. and Mrs. Us Before you file it on the shelf Let me tell you of myself Oh, I'm the chappie To make you happy I'll tie your shoes-ies And chase your blues-ies Oh lady, would you Oh tell me, could you use me? I'd shake the mat out And put the cat out I'd clean the garret And feed the parrot Oh lady, would you Oh tell me, could you use me? Do you realize what a good man You're getting in me? I'm no Elk or Mason or Woodman Who gets home at three The girls who see me Grow soft and dreamy But I'm a gander Who won't philander Oh, could you use me? 'Cause I certainly could use you [MOLLY] There's a chap I know in Mexico Who's as strong as he can be Eating nails and drinking Texaco He is the type for me There is one in California More romantic far than you When he sings "Ha cha cha chornia" I often think he'll do But as for you, sir, I'm afraid You will never make the grade For you're no cowboy You're soft, and how, boy I feel no muscle That's fit for tussle I must refuse you I cannot use you [DANNY] 'Scuse me [MOLLY] No night life for you The birds would bore you The cows won't know you A horse would throw you You silly man, you To ask me "Can you use me?" Though at love you may be a wizard I'm wanting to know Could you warm me up in a blizzard Say, forty below? Your ties are freakish Your knees look weakish Go back to flappers And highball lappers Though you can use me I most certainly can't use you [MEN] Oh, could you use me? Oh, could you use me? The girls who see me Grow soft and dreamy But I'm a gander Who won't philander Oh, could you use me? 'Cause I certainly could use you