Samson

Lyrics

[SAMSON] Well I'm Samson, and I'm crazy I'm Samson, and I'm crazy I'm Samson, and I'm crazy Now get outta my way so I can do my hair Who's that woman drinkin' wine? I want her, I want her [ALEXIS] No Samson, that's a Philistine You can't have her, can't have her [SAMSON] I want that lady, she pleases me [ALEXIS] Then a young lion roared (Lion attacks) And the spirit of the Lord Rushed into Samson And he tore the thing to bits [ENSEMBLE] With his bare hands! [ALEXIS] Yes he tore the thing to bits [ENSEMBLE] With his bare hands [ALEXIS] Yes he tore the thing to bits [ENSEMBLE] With his bare hands [ALEXIS] And inside the carcass he found [ALEXIS/KAZUMI] Mm mm, honey, honey Mm mm, honey, honey Mm mm, honey, honey [SAMSON] Well I'm Samson, and I'm crazy I'm Samson, and I'm crazy I'm Samson, and I'm crazy Now get outta my way so I can do my hair [NED] Now Samson's got a riddle I don't get it, I don't get it [CONRAD] I bet his lady could sweeten him up a little [NED] You got it, you got it Coax your husband and get the answer Or we'll burn you with fire [WIFE] You hate me, you hate me You will not tell me your riddle [ALEXIS/KAZUMI] Mm mm, honey honey [SAMSON] Look, I have not told my mother and father. Why should I tell you? [WIFE] You hate me, you hate me Me, your tender vittle [ENSEMBLE] And his honey nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged... [GEORGE] Until crazy Samson gave in [NED] And on the wedding day, when the riddle was guessed What did crazy Samson do? [ALEXIS] He killed thirty Philistines And he gave his wife [ENSEMBLE] To his best man [ALEXIS] Yes he gave his wife [ENSEMBLE] To his best man [ALEXIS] Yes he gave his wife [ENSEMBLE] To his best man [SAMSON] Then I took a trip to the zoo 'Cuz I'm Samson and I'm crazy I'm Samson and I'm crazy I'm Samson and I'm crazy Now get outta my way so I can do my hair [ALEXIS] Now Samson wants his wife back He wants his [ALEXIS/KAZUMI] Honey [NED] But her father says [GEORGE] No, no, sir You can't have her [ALEXIS/KAZUMI] Honey [SAMSON] This time when I do mischief to the Philistines, I will be without blame [ALEXIS] So Samson goes, catches 300 foxes And puts a torch on each one's tail Lets 'em go into the Philistine fields And they light on fire! (Fire, death destruction, chase. ANDRE and SIG from the band come and grab him.) [ANDRE/SIG] Samson, we are here to take you [SAMSON] You can bind me, but just don't hurt me (They bind him, take him away, SAMSON escapes, finds a jawbone) [DAN] Oh no! He's got the jawbone of an ass! (SAMSON kills the orchestra. GOD plays ukulele) [SAMSON] With the jawbone of an ass Heaps upon heaps With the jawbone of an ass I have slain a thousand men! With the jawbone of an ass Heaps upon heaps With the jawbone of an ass I have slain a thousand men! [SAMSON/GOD] With the jawbone of an ass Heaps upon heaps With the jawbone of an ass I have slain a thousand men! [SAMSON] 'Cuz I'm Samson, and I'm crazy I'm Samson, and I'm crazy I'm Samson, and I'm crazy Now get outta my way so I can do my hair [NED] If we only knew his weakness We could tie him up and dance [GEORGE] Where's that whore he loves, Delilah She can find the answer in his pants [DELILAH] You hate me, you hate me You will not tell me what makes you strong [ALEXIS/KAZUMI] Mm mm, honey honey [SAMSON] Oh God... [DELILAH] You hate me, you hate me I who have never done you wrong [SAMSON] Ok, if you use seven bowstrings, that'll bind me [DELILAH] You mock me, you mock me Me, so young and fair [SAMSON] Please stop nagging me. You are tiring me to death [DELILAH] You hate me, you hate me, you hate me, you hate me [SAMSON] All right! It's my hair! [ENSEMBLE] He's Samson, and he's crazy He's Samson, and he's crazy He's Samson, and he's crazy Now get outta our way so we can cut his hair (Violence, hair cutting, eyes gouged out, gruesome) [NED] So they locked him up And they made him and slave Yes, they made him dance and sing But over the years His hair grew back And I guess the Philistines forgot or something... I mean why didn't they just keep cutting his hair? [ALEXIS] Anyway One day several years later They called Samson in to dance In a house full of three thousand men And Samson said [SAMSON] Place my hands on the pillars upon which the house rests, so that I may lean against them [GEORGE] And he grabbed them pillars And called on the Lord [SAMSON] Let me die with the Philistines! [ENSEMBLE] And the house came crashing down! (Crash! Mayhem, death)