II. Refresh

Lyrics

[JESSICA] "Addict." God that's still so hard to say.​ So… So I had a bit of a relapse this weekend.​ I had been doing really good, you know? Installed trackers, installed blockers Deleted non-essential apps Turned off notifications Turned off push.​ But then I— It's so simple.​ I had an urge And I said why not? One peek won't hurt.​ [C​HORUS] REFRESH [JESSICA] I hadn't egosurfed in a while.​ [C​HORUS] REFRESH REFRESH [JESSICA] Not since my…incident.​ [C​HORUS] REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH [JESSICA] YES I AM JESSICA THAT ONE RIGHTEOUS MOBMIND CASUALTY SACRIFICIAL LAMB THAT I AM You've all seen my "white woman goes crazy" video.​ [C​HORUS] HEY [JESSICA] THANK YOU, THANK YOU [C​HORUS] HEY [JESSICA] Fuck context right? I ACTUALLY SAW IT BEFORE I WAS ID'ED SAW THIS VIDEO OF A WOMAN LOSING IT CIRCULATING IN MY FEED VOICES SOUND FAMILIAR RECOGNIZE THE PLACE— AND THEN I SAW HER MY FACE IS THAT MY FACE? MY FACE IS THAT MY FACE? AND I'D BE LIKE CLICK SWIPE FUCK CLICK SWIPE FUCK CLICK SWIPE FUCK CLICK SWIPE FUCK [JESSICA & C​HORUS] CLICK CLICK [JESSICA] THOSE FIRST FEW HOURS THOSE FIRST FEW DAYS I WAS GLUED TO THE LEWDNESS ON MY SCREEN READING EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IN MORBID FLAGELLATION MULTITASKING ALL THE TABS OF MY HUMILIATION [C​HORUS] REFRESH [JESSSICA] WHAT DID THIS SMALL PERSON SAY? [C​HORUS] REFRESH REFRESH [JESSSICA] WHAT DID THESE DOZEN SMALL PERSONS SAY? [C​HORUS] REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH [JESSSICA] EVERY VOICE IS EQUAL EVERY VOICE GETS IN IT WAS LIKE MY EYES WERE SEWN OPEN WITH A PIECE OF ELECTRIC THREAD GO TO BED GO TO BED NO BUT JUST ONE MORE ONE SHALLOW LITTLE PHRASE WOULD LIGHT MY BRAIN LIKE A TORCH I BECAME A JUNKIE FOR IT DIGGING DEEP FOR ALL THE MEMES AND POSTS TO MAKE ME FEEL MORE SHITTY MAKE MY SHAME HURT THE MOST AND I'D BE LIKE [JESSICA & C​HORUS] CLICK SWIPE FUCK CLICK SWIPE FUCK CLICK SWIPE FUCK CLICK SWIPE FUCK CLICK CLICK MY NAME IS THAT MY NAME? MY NAME IS THAT MY NAME? [JESSICA] OH GOD OH GOD I WATCHED MYSELF REBORN AS AN ICON FOR AWFULNESS AND HATE SO THEN I WENT AWAY TO THE FOREST NO RECEPTION JUST REFRESH MAKE MY HEAD FEEL CLEAN WATER CANDLES SOAP SUN SKY CLEAR ATTENTION SIMPLE STILLNESS SILENCE THE FOREST WAS BEAUTIFUL REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH But we all have to come back SO I CAME BACK BUT OF COURSE THERE'S NO COMING BACK NO REHABILITATION NO NUANCE JUST NOISE AND COMPLETE ANNIHILATION THE MOB NEVER FORGETS THE MOB NEVER FORGIVES EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW ME AT ALL NO YOU'VE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT BUT I AM YELLING AT A STRANGER AND A MINDWASTE AT A PETTY CHILD ROBOT AW COME ON COME ON COME ON NOW STONE ME BONE ME SPUNK ME JUNK ME DOX ME POX ME SHAME ME MAIM ME HATE ME DESTROY ME FUCK ME ENJOY ME I AM CANCELLED NO PAROLE NO RELEASE Huh Would you like that? IT'S HARD TO GET CLOSE TO NEW PEOPLE NOW I DON'T GO OUT MUCH I WEAR A HAT AND A TRENCHCOAT LIKE A PERVERT [C​HORUS] REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH [JESSICA] This all happened so fast Too fast for our fledgling empathy The tech got away from us And we weren't ready I don't think we're wired to handle this [C​HORUS] REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH ~~~~~~~~