A Bosom Friend

Lyrics

[STARBUCK, spoken] Oh Queequeg's a Cannibal, that's all! [ISHMAEL] A cannibal! Well I don't want to sleep with a cannibal! Idon'twanna sleep witha cannibal! Maybe I'm prude, but itjust seems kind of rude And I don't want to sleep with a cannibal [ALL] No he don't want to sleep with a cannibal [ISHMAEL] And I love new things, but I don't wanna try this [ISHMAEL] First thing I saw was his big harpoon and it scared me a little [ALL] Scared him a little [ISHMAEL] Next thing I saw was his crazy tattoos and it scared me a little [ALL] Scared him a little [ISHMAEL] Last thing I saw, he was holding in his hands it was a bundle of shrunken human heads And that scared me a little, scared me a little bit too When Queequeg came in I cried [ALL] Angels save me [ISHMAEL] I said [ALL] Cannibal don't get too close [ISHMAEL] And Queequeg cried [QUEEQUEG, spoken] Who-e debel you? You no speak-e, dam-me, I kill-e [?] [ISHMAEL, spoken] I just don't want to sleep with a cannibal! [QUEEQUEG] Oh- Oh I understand And I'm sorry for your little mind Yes I'm a cannibal- but don't you wanna know what kind? Cannibalism is an outdated term and it needs to be rethunk I think 'Cause it lumps together endo-cannibals, exo-cannibals, necro-cannibals, and homicidal cannibals Even though, they're pretty distinct [ALL] Endo-cannibals Exo-cannibals Necro-cannibals And homicidal cannibals- distinct [QUEEQUEG] Now I am a necro-endo, mostly Which means I just eat the people from my tribe And I wait 'til they're dead [spoken] Eh? Oh I can see you're hopeless Yojo, deliver me from basic bunkmates [ISHMAEL, spoken] No wait, I'm sorry- I wanna learn! [QUEEQUEG, spoken] Alright- Try to keep up! [sung] If you love someone don't throw them in the ground Butter them up and spread them around I believe the flesh contains a bit of the soul And it's yummy when you put it in a casserole [QUEEQUEG, spoken] Now I do sometimes eat people outside my tribe too, but only as a sacred ritual [sung] Say that you're engaged in a noble war You finally win but what was the fighting for? You can gain some wisdom when you empathize By respecting their values and boiling their thighs Everywhere I go people have an opinion That this is wrong, or this or that is right Ugh Everybody is talking politics or religions But as a cultural relativist I've seen the light [scatting] Zwadeebadadya [ISHMAEL, scatting] Zwadeebadyaday [QUEEQUEG, spoken] That's right! [scatting] Zabadabadabaday [ISHMAEL, scatting] Babababababababa [QUEEQUEG, spoken] Too much! [scatting] Scabodabodaboday [spoken] Now take it slow! [ISHMAEL, scatting] Zabodabodaboday [QUEEQUEG] Nice! And you eat chicken [ISHMAEL] And I eat beef! [QUEEQUEG] And those animals endure a lot of grief [BOTH] And though you find my customs a little bit strange [QUEEQUEG] At least I know my meat lived its life free range [ISHMAEL, spoken] Why you're just as much a human as me! [QUEEQUEG, spoken] Um... Yeah [ISHMAEL, spoken] No, wait, I'm sorry, I mean- I'd be honored to share a bed with you [QUEEQUEG, spoken] Don't hog the covers- and try not to drool [ISHMAEL] So I guess I'm gonna sleep with a cannibal I guess I'm gonna sleep with a cannibal While the foodies chomp and chaw on their p�t�-de-foie-gras I'll be snuggling with my bosom friend the cannibal [ALL] Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian