Song Meaning
Dave Barnes's "What Am I Gonna Do" isn't just another love song; it's a raw, almost desperate, exploration of codependency. The opening lines immediately establish a struggle for self-reliance: "Call me courageous / Cause that's what I'm trying to be." This isn't a declaration of strength, but a plea, hinting at an internal battle against the overwhelming influence of another person. The silence that's "breaking its way through me" suggests a communication breakdown, a chasm widening within the relationship that forces a confrontation with self. The cyclical nature of the lyrics reinforces the feeling of being trapped in this dynamic.
The core of the song meaning lies in the repeated lines about being both a sinner and a saint, utterly incapable without the other person. This duality speaks to the push-pull of a relationship where identity is blurred. The absence of the loved one doesn't create freedom, but a void. The singer can't define himself, good or bad, without this anchor. It's a startlingly honest admission of how deeply intertwined the two individuals have become. The question "What am I gonna do?" isn't rhetorical; it's a genuine cry for direction, lost in the maze of shared existence.
However, the most unsettling aspect of "What Am I Gonna Do" is the ambiguity of 'with you by my side'. Is it a lament or a compliment? Is the singer afraid of being alone, or stifled by the relationship? The lyrics offer no easy answers, leaving us to ponder the complex, often contradictory, emotions that bind two people together. The longing for a single word, a sign, to "call for the sunlight" further emphasizes the dependency, the need for external validation to find meaning and direction. Barnes masterfully captures the vulnerability and confusion inherent in losing oneself within another.