Song Meaning

The lyrics paint a stark, internal landscape of a life that feels unwanted from its very inception. The opening lines, "祝われなかった誕生 内傷にいたい殺生" (An uncelebrated birth, a killing that wants to stay in internal wounds), immediately establish a tone of deep-seated pain and rejection. The imagery of a "遺体結晶みたい キラキラ" (like a crystal corpse, sparkling) is jarring, suggesting a beauty found in something dead or broken, a perverse fascination with the remnants of what could have been. This sets up a profound questioning of fate and agency: "これが運命? 笑わせるね" (Is this fate? You make me laugh), directly challenging the idea of predetermined destiny and wondering if humans can truly influence the "いのちの紐" (life's string). The central tension revolves around the narrator's complex relationship with a "望まれなかったあの子" (child who wasn't wanted), a presence felt through "ちらつく胎動4回想" (flickering fetal movements, four recollections). There's a palpable sense of regret and self-recrimination, as the narrator grapples with the idea that a life, even one born from a "気持ちいい行為" (pleasurable act), could be so easily extinguished. The lyrics express a deep sadness and a cynical distance, "かなしくて遠巻きに皮肉" (sadly, from afar, sarcasm), as they confront the physical and emotional emptiness, "身体 穴だらけ" (body full of holes). A striking element is the recurring motif of the "芽" (bud) and the decision of whether to let it bloom. The phrase "脳未完成ならば 人間じゃない? まだ芽" (If the brain is incomplete, not human? Still a bud) suggests a precarious state of being, where personhood is conditional. The ultimate power to nurture or discard this potential lies with another, "その芽 咲かせてあげるかあげないかは 君次第" (Whether to let that bud bloom or not is up to you). This creates a dizzying sense of existential dread, amplified by the "相対性理論 歪んだ 空間" (theory of relativity, distorted space) and the fear of "暗んだ埋葬" (darkened burial). What makes these lyrics resonate is their unflinching portrayal of the internal consequences of perceived rejection and the fragility of existence. The raw, almost visceral language, from the "嗚咽 喉抑え" (sobbing, holding the throat) to the "カニバリズムの果て" (end of cannibalism), speaks to a profound internal struggle. The cyclical nature of the chorus, emphasizing the uncertainty and the potential for a "死に急ぎ" (rush to die), leaves the listener with a haunting sense of unresolved pain and the desperate, ongoing fight for survival against overwhelming odds.