According to Plan

Lyrics

[Mrs. VanDort] It's a beautiful day [Mr. VanDort] It's a rather nice day [Mrs. VanDort] A day for a glorious wedding [Mr. VanDort] A rehearsal my dear, to be perfectly clear [Mrs. VanDort] A rehearsal for a glorious wedding [Mr. VanDort] Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know [Mrs. VanDort] That nothing unexpected interferes with the show [Mr. And Mrs. VanDort] And that's why every thing Every last little thing Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go [Mrs. VanDort] According to plan [Mr. VanDort] Our son will be married [Mrs. VanDort] According to plan [Mr. VanDort] Our family carried [Mr. And Mrs. VanDort] Elevated to the heights of society [Mrs. VanDort] To the costume balls [Mr. VanDort] In the hallowed halls [Mrs. VanDort] Rubbing elbows with the finest [Mr. VanDort] Having crumpets with Her Highness [Mr. And Mrs. VanDort] We'll be there, we'll be seen Having tea with the queen We'll forget everything That we've ever, ever been [Mrs. Everglot] It's a terrible day [Mr. Everglot] Now don't be that way [Mrs. Everglot] It's a terrible day for a wedding [Mr. Everglot] It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in [Mrs. Everglot] That has led to this ominous wedding [Mr. Everglot] How could our family have come to this? [Mr. and Mrs. Everglot] To marry off our daughter to the nouveau riche [Mrs. Everglot] They're so common [Mr. Everglot] So coarse [Mrs. Everglot] Oh, it couldn't be worse [Mr. Everglot] Couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree They could be land-rich, bankrupt aristocracy Without a penny to their name just like you and me [Mrs. Everglot] Oh, dear [Mr. and Mrs. Everglot] And that's why everything Every last little thing Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go [Mrs. Everglot] According to plan [Mr. Everglot] Our daughter will wed [Mrs. Everglot] According to plan [Mr. Everglot] Our family led [Mr. and Mrs. Everglot] From the depths of deepest poverty [Mrs. Everglot] To the noble realm [Mr. Everglot] Of our ancestry [Mr. and Mrs. Everglot] And who would have guessed in a million years That our daughter with a face [Mr. Everglot] Of an otter in disgrace [Mr. and Mrs. Everglot] Would provide our ticket to a rightful place [Victoria, spoken] What if Victor and I don't like each other? [Mrs. Everglot, spoken] Do you suppose your father and I like each other? [Victoria, spoken] Surely you must, a little [Mr. and Mrs. Everglot, spoken] Of course not [Mrs. Everglot, spoken] Get those corsets laced properly, I can hear you speak without gasping Marriage is a partnership A little tit-for-tat You'd think a lifetime watching us (sung) Might have taught her that Might have taught her that [Mr. Everglot] Everything must be perfect [Mrs. Everglot] Everything must be perfect [Mr. and Mrs. Everglot] Everything must be perfect, perfect [VanDorts and Everglots] That's why everything Every last little thing Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go According to plan