December 4th (The Grey Album)

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Jay-Z] They say "They never really miss you 'til you dead or you gone." So on that note, I'm leavin' after the song So you ain't gotta feel no way about Jay, so long At least let me tell you why I'm this way, hold on I was conceived by Gloria Carter and Adnis Reeves Who made love under the sycamore tree Which makes me a more sicker MC, and my momma would claim At 10 pounds, when I was born, I didn't give her no pain Although through the years I gave her her fair share I gave her her first real scare, I made up for birth when I got here She knows my purpose wasn't purpose; I ain't perfect, I care But I feel worthless 'cause my shirts wasn't matchin' my gear Now I'm just scratchin' the surface 'Cause what's buried under there Was a kid torn apart once his pop disappeared I went to school, got good grades, could behave when I wanted But I had demons deep inside that would raise when confronted, hold on [Interlude: Gloria Carter] Shawn was a very shy child growing up. He was into sports, and a funny story is at 4 he taught himself how to ride a bike. A two-wheeler at that, isn't that special? But I noticed a change in him when me and my husband broke up [Verse 2: Jay-Z] Now, all the teachers couldn't reach me And my momma couldn't beat me Hard enough to match the pain of my pops not seein' me So, with that disdain in my membrane Got on my pimp game; fuck the world, my defense came Then DeHaven introduced me to the game Spanish Jose introduced me to 'caine, I'm a hustler now My gear is in and I'm in the in-crowd And all the wavy light-skinned girls is lovin' me now My self-esteem went through the roof, man, I got my swag Got a Volvo from this girl when her man got bagged Plus I hit my momma with cash from a show that I had Supposedly, knowin' nobody paid Jaz wack-ass I'm gettin' ahead of myself; by the way, I could rap But that came second to me movin' this crack "Gimme a second, I swear," I would say about my rap career Til '96 came, niggas, I'm here, goodbye [Interlude: Gloria Carter] Shawn used to be in the kitchen, beating on the table and rapping until the wee hours of the morning. And then I bought him a boom box, and his sisters and brothers said he would drive them nuts. But that was my way to keep him close to me and out of trouble [Verse 3: Jay-Z] Goodbye to the game, all the spoils, the adrenaline rush Your blood boils you in the spot, knowin' cops could rush And you in a drop, you're so easy to touch No two days are alike except the first and fifteenth, pretty much And "trust" is a word you seldom hear from us Hustlers, we don't sleep, we rest one eye up And the drought will define a man when the well dries up You learn the worth of water without work You thirst 'til you die, yup! And niggas get tied up for product And little brothers' ring fingers get cut up To show mothers they really got 'em And this was the stress I lived with 'Til I decided to try this rap shit for a livin', I pray I'm forgiven For every bad decision I made, every sister I played 'Cause I'm still paranoid to this day And it's nobody's fault, I made the decisions I made This is the life I chose, or rather, the life that chose me [Outro: Jay-Z] If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black Now if you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack Maybe you'll love me when I fade...