Dancing (in bed) with White men (with dreads)

Song Meaning

The lyrics open with a direct, almost defiant invocation of Audre Lorde, immediately establishing a complex relationship with Black feminist thought and personal transgression. The narrator confesses "sins" and admits to using "the master's tools" that ultimately led to personal "ruin." This sets a tone of internal conflict, where societal expectations and personal desires collide, particularly within the context of a relationship that feels both captivating and destructive. The repeated pleas for forgiveness to "Lorde" underscore a struggle to reconcile her actions with the ideals she holds dear, suggesting a deep-seated guilt or shame. The central tension revolves around the narrator's attraction to and entanglement with a white man, specifically one with dreadlocks, which becomes a focal point of her internal debate. She contrasts her "new moon flesh" with his "waxed nights" with his "pale hard feet" and "full moon flesh," highlighting a racial and experiential divide. The dreadlocks themselves are described as a "glued, yarned experiment" and an "unwashed attack," yet paradoxically, this "attack" is "pulled sugar to my mouth." This juxtaposition reveals a fascination with the foreign and perhaps a self-destructive impulse, where the very things that seem to represent an imposition or a violation are also deeply alluring. The most striking craft element is the narrator's use of contrasting imagery and the subversion of expected power dynamics. She describes herself as "floorboards, wing nuts" at his feet, a position of subservience, yet simultaneously acknowledges her own "tentacled blaze" and the effort it takes "to look the mirror in the eye, love what the world won't." The act of allowing him to stay after he denies the reality of race, and then observing his dreadlocks "taking up too much space" in her bed, signifies a profound internal reckoning. This is not just about a romantic encounter; it's about the complex negotiation of identity, desire, and political consciousness when confronted with the everyday realities of racial difference and historical trauma. Ultimately, these lyrics resonate because they capture the messy, contradictory nature of desire and self-discovery, particularly for a Black woman navigating a world that often demands she choose between her identity and her attractions. The narrator's struggle to "grab the shears" and confront the situation, her regret over not making him "walk to the store" or "drive anywhere" while "covered in our brown bright hand-me-down," speaks to a deep-seated frustration with complicity. The final lines, "Audre, gravity is pulling me everywhere. I sit on the edge, / if I fall, I not sure where I'll go," perfectly encapsulate the precariousness of her position, caught between the weight of history and the unpredictable pull of her present choices.