Lyrics

[Verse 1] When I was a younger man I was a man of no means But I had some very large dreams And a healthy fear of nothing But now time has taught me some humility And turned some of my humanity Into apathy The fishnet stockings that I once wore Don't fit anymore And the makeup only makes me look old If I got up and tried to do that old dance You'd have to call an ambulance [Chorus] 'Cause you see, I find myself A faded Southern bellhop I define myself in terms of things I failed to do And I chide myself: "Self, the only one that you can blame is you," And I don't argue [Verse 2] 'Cause my reputation, once magnificent Is now worth its weight in excrement In fashionable circles And of course they're all pissed off They came halfway round the world to see me dancing like a girl And it was quite a disappointment But I was bruised, but never beaten Badly chewed, but not quite eaten I was always far too tasteless To go down easy But the fists that fell like rain Completely failed to cause me pain It was only the loneliness When they stopped to finally prove me [Chorus] As you see, I find myself A faded Southern bellhop I define myself in terms of things I failed to do And I chide myself: "Self, the only one that you can blame is you," So that's what I do [Verse 3] 'Cause now there's not much left to do But acknowledge my decrepitude And wait for the end to come and Hope that they remember back when I was worth a damn When I was more than what I am and maybe more than what I was But I guess Either way, I'll leave a legacy That I will be too dead to see In the end it's just important to a loving wife and kids I never had but wish I did Although it may be for the best If they persist in not existing [Chorus] 'Cause you see, I find myself A faded Southern bellhop I define myself in terms of things I failed to do And I chide myself: "Self, the only one that you can blame is you," And I don't argue