Oh No Mario!

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Well, why are video games so bloody violent? Mindless? Man, it's time to rewind To a time where the action was colorful and innocent Moms and dads didn't have to be diligent Didn't have to panic for the kids becoming militant Mario's back and it's brilliant! I'm a wholesome character that is suitable for children A real role model when I'm leaping off a building Come on kids; follow me, follow me One, two, three; jump off and wee! Dash through traffic shouting, "Tally ho!" Can you run down the road as fast as Mario? I'mma show you pipes; a variety of types Hash pipes, crack pipes; pass me a light I'm jacked up on mushrooms, listening to Rush tunes Puff, puff, pass me the carrot Motherfuck you! [Hook 1] Fuck yeah Oh no, Mario! Fuck yeah Oh no, Mario! Fucking listen [Verse 2] Roll up to the club and I jump on the table Engage in R-rated behavior that's shameful Fuck the haters straight up mate You can jump on a turtle and make it painful I'm only saving Princess Peach To get a piece and pinch her peaches, preach! I'm going to break that bum when I get her home But I've got the shakes man, I'm coming off the methadone So, I scoff another plate full of Goombas Make her suck me off on the rug like a Roomba Ooh-rah! Rebel rabble-rouser That'll yank down Bowser's trousers And I sell drugs, plumbing is a front I'm addressing every woman as a cunt Roughing up a punk while I'm puffing on a blunt Duppy motherfuckers and I stuff them in the trunk [Hook 2] Fuck finishers in Mortal Kombat Oh no, Mario! Mario's already been there, done that Oh no, Mario! Fuck Carmageddon and fuck Manhunt Oh no, Mario! Mario's worse, he's a god-damn cunt Oh no, Mario! [Verse 3] Spin my hat front to back then back to front I bet you can't do that, you cunt I'm a little fucking fat fucking plumber Fucking taking on fucking any fucking comer I'm a loose cannon on the loose With an appetite for animal abuse Don't like Jews, I don't like you Don't like anybody, hang 'em from a noose Enacting atrocities, cruelty of all kinds Bloodbaths, massacres, slaughter and war crimes Napalming your jungle leaves When I'm shaking the junk in my dungarees But you won't get a crumb from me Because I'm from the streets of New Donk City Out the barrio and I'm heading for Hell It's-a-me, Mario! Beheading infidels [Hook 3] Fuck Saints Row, fuck Grand Theft Auto Oh no, Mario! Mario's going to come and cut your throat Oh no, Mario! Fuck Doom, fuck Hatred Oh no, Mario! Mario's raping all that is sacred Oh no, Mario! [Outro] Nintendo; fun for all the family