Grandma, Why You Do Me Like That?

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I've been described as quite a nice chap Why you might ask, pfft, I dunno, I'm just like that But my mind's tapped like hi-hats on my tracks Can't bypass the deep stuff much, I need a hi-pass So I can glide fast right past Strife like I was covered in butter, smothered the stuff on my back I'd just like to lie back and have a nightcap But there's black bags under my eyes, I want an ice pack When I'm low on melatonin, then I'm throwing my nap Time out the window when I try pulling the blind back Sun is shining, and we're finding that's an anticlimax Sadly, life's lacking passion, I don't even mind that I maybe will just give up on my damn self I find it fine, gravy, chilling at my nan's house Dine inside daily, living off her handouts But now that nice lady's kicked me out the dang house! [Chorus] Grandma, why you do me like that? I was your manchild, and you threw me right out Grandma, why you do me like that? Why you do me like that? I'm the talk of the town The way I wobble around They are knocking my style And it's knocking me down Grandma, why you do me like that? Wow [Verse 2] I can't believe my nan kicked me with a roundhouse Hit me in the kidneys 'till I'm crouching in the outhouse Now I've got to worry about wealth and how to get it Make myself a living, make myself self-sufficient It's selfish, isn't it? Now I'll have to sell fish and shift shellfish Fresh off the shelf in shifts for chefs for shelter Fretting 'cause I'm fresh out of vouchers For freeloading, now I'm Al Fresco, I've felt it Felt tip crayons on my curriculum vitae Can't erase or fix it with an instant replay Life's definitely too hard every day Like zip-a-dee-doo-dah-zippedy-ay But whatever, give me a suit, tie and briefcase I'm ready to do time in meatspace And though I know that I'm probably throwing a wobbly Over not growing up properly, tell it to me straight, mate, don't put it softly [Chorus] Grandma, why you do me like that? I was your manchild, and you threw me right out Grandma, why you do me like that? Why you do me like that? I'm the talk of the town The way I wobble around They are knocking my style And it's knocking me down Grandma, why you do me like that? [Verse 3] Well, let me explain, lots of people are wobbling It's not something to be bothering ya Life can seem impossible Every time we dream we drop it all Can't sit on the lawn for long We've got to be responsible Get comfy being uncomfortable With something we've not done before I can't put on the confidence Without keeping a confidant Walk up the street with your pyjamas on See your badonkadonk You could be an even more clumsy humpty dumpty Someone'll still see you all hunky for the rumpy-pumpy You shouldn't be grumpy just because your custard gon' be lumpy You're receiving something sweet while some people be hungry So step up, and then step outside 'Cause what you put in's what you get out of life It's a wild ride, won't get out alive But while we're 'round might as well check out the vibes You're the talk of the town The way you wobble around They might be knocking your style But they're not knocking you out [Chorus] Grandma, why you do me like that? I was your manchild, and you threw me right out Grandma, why you do me like that? Why you do me like that? I'm the talk of the town The way I wobble around They are knocking my style And it's knocking me down Grandma, why you do me like that? [Verse 4] Look, you may stumble, so it tends to pay to stay humble So when you take tumbles, then you say: "I'm all good" Transmit your power like a freakin' fan belt would I phrase it in ways that only Dan Bull could Bathe in self praise 'till I am well scrubbed Come out smelling like sandalwood 'Cause we're all winners here, so I hand out dubs Feel a teeny bit proud? Well, damn, you damn well should I know I said stay humble, but you stand out good I smell you moving louder through the crowd than Gandalf's bud Through Merry, Pippin, Frodo and Samwise's hood You're feeling sweet as when you eat a piece of Grandma's fudge But don't look for food to come to you, you're not a fly trap It's not a box of chocolates, life's a spice rack And when it bites you in the act, you've got to bite back Or you'll find that it'll treat you like a light snack When you hit skid row, go follow the tire tracks Fight back, smash life like glass Then when they inquire why you're such a nice chap You can reply: "Pfft, I dunno, I'm just like that" [Chorus] Grandma, why you do me like that? I was your manchild, and you threw me right out Grandma, why you do me like that? Why you do me like that? I'm the talk of the town The way I wobble around They are knocking my style And it's knocking me down Grandma, why you do me like that?