10 Years Of Borderlands

Lyrics

[Intro] Buh, hah! Hello,  Pandora fans Hello,  Pandora fans Hello, Pandora fans We're riding back to the Moon and back I  said hello, Pandora fans We're  riding back to the Borderlands [Verse 1 - Borderlands] Every brilliant story begins with a vault And  if this is familiar, well, it isn't my fault This vault was a rumour, full of fat loot, sir Sit back, bun a fat zoot and let me ask you-ah What would you do for such spoils and plunder? Would  you face pain, shame, flame, cold and hunger? Assault whole bunkers, wholly outnumbered? If you answered "yes" to all of the above Then you're a Vault Hunter See? You're hardly an angel, leave that to the Guardian Angel The key to the vault is your grail, better get the pieces If you falter, you fail, your goal is to dwell in this world and inhale Up a whole different way of living, ultimate sell With the screws and the nuts and the bolts and the nails And the rust and the dust and the road and the rail This is Paradise Lost and you're going to Hell With eighty-seven bazillion volts in your tail Now let me tell the revoltingest tale Full of mudslinging, salt and betrayal Hop on the carousel and keep a hold of yourself 'Cause the slower you roll then the colder the trail Oi, Patricia Tannis, can you tell us what the plan is? 'Cause it's as if we cannot trust anybody on the planet You're a hell of a fierce woman, Helena Pierce Couldn't tell if your tears were really steaming your goggles But not everything is as it appears as your Pandora peers We should have seen you were trouble See, now you've got the Vault Key, seems your plan's faulty It's about to be stole by the Crimson Lance, oh jeez So ,who's the vermin agent that's commanding them to steal? Got to be nominative determination, it's Commandant Steele It's time to clap back so I call up Claptrap He's like, "What's that in the back?" This track slaps, it's like crack, you can't get enough of it Couple lines of filler, dripping bars for the uff of it To flourish here, got to be hard, toughen up a bit Borderlands is my jam and I'm loving it Giving no fucks, open that vault up Hold up, something's holed up, woah, oh fuck [Hook] Stop the clocks, the status quo is broken Stop all the clocks, Pandora's Box is open Stop the clocks, the status quo is broken Stop all the clocks, Pandora's Box is open [Verse 2 - Borderlands 2] Whoops! You popped the vault's cherry Unsettling what was all buried Scary monsters, got to get rid of 'em What's left? A big bukkake of Eridium Ready for the clean up by even badder criminals How can you beat them? You don't even have the minerals You're dealing with the pinnacle, trust Killing all you little fools, minimal fuss Hyperion, he's really running militantly tyranny By getting the eridium by any necessary means It's Handsome Jack with the rapid expansion Got to keep topping that financial stack So let's cancel that, take his mansion back Have him living in a council flat No Sanctuary, nah, this is our domain Safe space from which we dish out the pain Crimson Raiders kill invaders, been doing this thing for ages Like it isn't dangerous, didn't think our little angel traitorous 'Til the day that she betrayed us Base incinerated but then Lilith saved it 'Cause it is a spaceship, this is just the beginning page Good gracious! What an outrageous play, Mr. Shakespeare Who the heck's stepping up next to the stage? It's a young lady, you might have seen her She's a pyromaniac, it's Tiny Tina, about as far from a ballerina You could find, serving up havoc like subpoenas Now we're really getting manic with the beer-bellied mechanic And it's Ellie twisting spanners like tagliatelle metallic And everybody who inhabits the planet's in panicked shock Except perhaps one man, that's Sir Hammerlock Have a look through the binoculars His lens even blurrier than Oculus Got arms all around like an octopus Stop popping off shots at the populace And now Moxxi's mad, I'll have what she had Unless it's oxycotin, I do not need that She's a cosplay hottie, fact But how's anybody going to top these hats? Nevermind that, got to stop these prats So fucking give us back that Vault Key, Jack Better not wake up that rock creature For a handsome man, you're an ugly chap Well, imagine my shock, final boss, beat that Clichéd ending, predictable plot piece, ah Wait a fricking minute, look, what's this map? No rest for the wicked, huh? Cut to black [Hook] Seems time has stopped, tock-tick Rewind the clocks, tock-tick T-minus nought, tock Lunar tick, back to the moon and back [Verse 3 - Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel] Off to the moon and it's full of lunatics Scavs, miners, archaeologists and fugitives The lifestyle under Dahl's rather punitive Inclusively like a unisex crucifix And this human intervention was the Eucharist Mother Nature doesn't take to getting two fingers In the crater like you wouldn't lose your shit So as soon as it went boom and split The crackening was happening and Jack? He knew to get to the tip then he'd have to become ruthless Under the tutelage of an abusive bitch But he got used to it, gave it a new twist Like people who call nuclear: "nucular" So close, yet removed from the nucleus No nuclear family, youth was unhappy Reduced him to angry then dude killed his granny Established a pattern He whacked off his manager but not by wanking No, Jack toppled Tassiter Grabbing his throat, he strangled the bastard Look, still got his trophy goatee, have a look Now he's shacking up in Helios That nobody covets so much as the Legion does They capture it, Jack's a bit miffed, understandably So he sends some mercenaries into low gravity Ramming deep down underground, cleaning cavities Like a gang of dentists sent to depravity Yeah, he might be training up an army of robots But if they're not harming you, so what? Don't knock! It's not notable enough to remark upon So shut up, lock targets on Zarpedon Then choose to pop open that vault If you don't know Jack, that's your own damn fault (Hit it) [Hook] Watch the clock, tick-tock, tick-tock Watch the clock, what time you clocking off? Watch the clock, tick-tock, tick-tock Watch the clock, sleeves up, watches off [Verse 4 - Tales from the Borderlands] Rhys's peace is about to crack When he sees a key up for grabs on the black market I'll take that, thank you (Thank you) Now Rhys is a man bankrupt, bad luck Damn, if only he'd have known it was bogus, a phony, a hoax He'd have ganged up with Fiona the chancer She knows every scam ever wrote in the damn book Going to get, going to get, going to get that money back But I can't get you out of my head, not funny, Jack Progress' slower than a tortoise walks until the Gortys Core Showed them vaults galore Shore to shore, I'm sure I said already but I'll say again So many, there's a smorgasbord, awkward dork But when you're hijacked by Jack Both boys and girls will be behind like a bike rack I don't want to be Handsome Jack's puppet So there's only one answer, that's "Fuck it" Bring the whole thing down Crashing to the surface, looking back Life now has a bigger purpose Cash is fucking worthless unless it can be spent Fed up of living life at like seventy percent Hope you're ready for the next episode Oi, oi, oi, oi! Smoke Skags every day [Verse 5 - Commander Lilith & the Fight for Sanctuary] But wait, there's more! Gracious lord We've awakened an ancient force Lilith and the raiders have brought the vault map But Dahl have attacked and they won't pull back Dropping gas, whole place getting jacked Like The8thHawk, better get away and escape with a phasewalk Save Vaughn from infected bandits so we can gather samples And invent the antidote Tannis isn't at a level at which she can master this So Cassius asks them if they'll acid trip to the mountain But who's that? Talon, Mordecai's in trouble Get the Moonshot Cannon, ramming into Helios So get packing to meet a boss we believe is from Saturn Take pieces of it, yeah, pull them out of Uranus The power contained within, it's bloody outrageous I guess this infection's affecting us a lot Being heckled by Hector is messing up the plot Better stop that man while we can, while we've got a chance Because his plants are buggering up our plans Just look at his lab, it's full of failed experiments Hypothesis, what a prick, here's the evidence Now Cassius is overcome with nastiness So perhaps the vaccine is within his ass, in fact, it is Let's get extracting it and then go back to Sanctuary The place stinks like an outdated pack of anchovies Lilith goes ham, completely tearing up the place Borderlands need saving for yet another day