Witness

Lyrics

Sometimes I don't believe you let me walk around above ground With the things I've seen You talk about learning to love with your pants on But every time you come around you dance on the table And let your feelings fall to the earth That's what that sound was, it' somebody's birthday They signed me up for the witness protection program And I became a blind guy in a titty bar And it was so successful That they ran my ass for president And got my ass elected And at my inauguration, I stood there naked With a hand on their biblе and I swore to uphold My duties and my consciencе To the best of my ability as a blind guy in a titty bar Tin cup and white cane, the strippers as my cabinet Oh, I am a witness Oh, I am a witness Oh, I am a witness And I heard that Kennedy got killed 'Cause he was about to come clean about the aliens I heard that the Indians got killed 'Cause they were about to introduce drive-thru fast food I read that all of the Jews got killed So that the museums would have something for the future I heard that the Hutus killed all the Tutsis 'Cause otherwise they'd never see Jesus and his mother Oh, I am a witness Oh, I am a witness Oh, I am a witness They offered me tickets to go to the moon One pair, one way, don't come back soon They offered me to pack up my belongings for free Before too long they'd get them to me Care of my guide on the dark side of the moon Who'd teach me the language and feed me with a spoon They all came to say goodbye, one after the other My homicidal sister and my suicide brother The little pink children who advertise the weather They dug up my aunt and they went down on my mother The freed my balloon with strings of leather Blew me away like you blow away a feather Oh, I am a witness Oh, I am a witness Oh, I am a witness So here I sit on the balcony Freeway far as the eye can see I got my head packed underneath my hood I got the darkest dark sunglasses that I could I covered up my eyes and I covered up my ears The ballgame's on and I got a cold beer I got photographs but don't worry, isn't this A beautiful night just go about your business Oh, I am a witness Oh, I am a witness Oh, I am a witness Oh, I am a witness