Lyrics

[Intro] This is a new tune of ours, uh it doesn't belong on a studio album so it belongs at the Wormy Dog. You know what I mean? [Verse 1] Oh if I were president, I'd make you understand No more questions, no more lies I will tell you the truth looking in your eyes If I were president Well first and foremost son, Jesus Christ is the only one You're going to talk to when your day begins I'm going to pass a law that says everyday you gotta get down on your knees and pray Thank the man for dying for you sins If I were president, I would make you understand Jesus is the man he's the reason that you stand, if I were president [Verse 2] We're gonna put the word out on the streets No more Washington, DC I'm gonna make this country big and strong No more payin' of your taxes The capital's in Pampa, Texas That's the only place a house that big belongs If I were president, the blue collar man won't get the shaft Nobody's gonna laugh when Jerry Jeff's is my chief of staff If I were president [Verse 3] Well, Iraqi boys you must be nuts You're diggin' yourself deeper in a rut I got a way to end your problems soon We'll bring home every one of our boys And pull out our biggest baddest toy And blow you crazy bastards to the moon If I were president, nobody's gonna push us around If they threaten us or put us down We'll burn their county to the ground If I were president [Verse 4] Well, I got one for you Sadaam Hussein We'll resurrect General John Wayne Put together a very simple plan Put down our nukes put down our guns And you and the Duke will be one on one And he'll kick your ass as if you were a man If I were president,, if I were president If you don't like Willie Nelson, you gotta go to prison If I were president [Outro] So cast your vote and make it me And if I win the beer is free If I were president Oh yeah