The Cringe

Lyrics

[CASTLEMAN] Some people are scared of goblins and ghosts They shriek at a raven perched on a post "Oh no!" they cry. "It's a spooky black cat!" But there are so many things far more frightening than that Like when I asked a woman I hadn't seen in a while How long she'd been pregnant, and there went her smile Turns out she'd just gained weight. "I'm so sorry," I said And when that memory fills me with horror and dread I do the cringe! Ugggh! I do the cringe! Ooooh! [HEATHER, PAULA, AND VALENCIA] More than a twinge [CASTLEMAN] The thought leaves me aghast Because nothing is as scary as what lurks in your past [VALENCIA] Banshees and ghouls can give a good fright [PAULA] But that's not what keeps me up at night [HEATHER] I think about that time in bed with my ex When I chuckled at his penis during sex [CASTLEMAN, REBECCA, PAULA, AND VALENCIA] She does the cringe [HEATHER] It was a full-blown laugh [CASTLEMAN, REBECCA, PAULA, AND VALENCIA] She does the cringe [HEATHER] It looked like a cute little puppet [CASTLEMAN, REBECCA, PAULA, AND VALENCIA] She does the cringe [HEATHER] He went soft and cried [MR. TRAPANI] And that was the night their relationship died! [GARY] I told a date I lost my wallet so she would pay [SUSAN] I hooked up with the bassist of Sugar Ray [CHRISTOPHER] I got an angel tattoo on my upper thigh [TARA] I gave my mother's eulogy completely high [DEVON] See, everyone has sins they want to wash away [BENJAMIN] I came up with the town motto: "Live. Work. Play." [ALL] We do the cringe [BENJAMIN] It was not my best work [ALL] We do the cringe [BENJAMIN] In fairness, I was also high [ALL] We do the cringe [CASTLEMAN] Regret can be a blast But nothing is as funky as what lurks in your past Cringe dance! (dance break) [ALL] Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Aaaaah! [REBECCA] We all have skeletons [CASTLEMAN] Real and metaphorically [CHRISTOPHER] Wait, aren't you the guy who murdered me? [REBECCA] What? [CASTLEMAN] Nothing! The cringe! [ALL] Cringe!