Anti-Depressants Are So Not a Big Deal

Lyrics

[RESHMA] Fluoxetine, fluoxetine! [LOU] Paroxetine, paroxetine! [MELINDA] Citalopram, citalopram! [RESHMA, LOU, AND MELINDA] Take once a day Fluoxetine, fluoxetine Paroxetine, paroxetine Citalopram, citalopram May cause dry mouth [DR. AKOPIAN] From the moment that we learn to walk and speak Our parents tell us everyone's unique Now, I'm not saying that advice is bad But honey, you're not special 'cause you're sad [RESHMA, LOU, AND MELINDA] Not special, no you're not [DR. AKOPIAN] The butcher, the baker, the grocery clerk They're all on 20 milligrams or so [MOVER] The movers [BARTENDER] The shakers [JAYMA] The happy homemaker [DR. AKOPIAN] You'd be surprised how many of them you know [ALL] Anti-depressants are so not a big deal Big whoop, you're on an anti-depressant [DR. AKOPIAN] Sweet cheeks, here's the deal [ALL] Welcome to the club with open admission You're cast in the play that has no audition Yes, everyone is special, that's usually the sitch But when it comes to meds, you're such a basic bitch [BUTCHER] I lost my job and for six months, I couldn't leave my bed, yeah! [LOU] When my husband died, I stopped bathing and watched Christian TV instead, ooh! [BUTCHER AND LOU] Now we're on pills and it's less of a slog [DR. AKOPIAN] Just ask any abused rescue dog [CONNOR] Bark [ALL] The origins of life are messy and imprecise [DR. AKOPIAN] We're all the result of natural selection [REBECCA] True! So why should I feel crappy About something that makes me happy? [BAKER] Though it may be hard to maintain an erection [ALL] Maybe you should adjust your dosage! [BAKER] I already tried that, didn't work [ALL] Have you tried another medication? [BAKER] Yep, but that one made me gain weight [ALL] Oh, that totally happened to me. It got better within a few months [BAKER] Thanks, cool! [ALL] Anti-depressants are so not a big deal Big whoop, you're on an anti-depressant [DR. AKOPIAN] Take two with or without a meal (dance break) [ALL] Fluoxetine, fluoxetine Paroxetine, paroxetine Our lawyers won't let us say brand names Anti-depressants are so not a big deal Big whoop, you're on an anti-depressant [CONNOR] Bark [DOG WALKER] Connor, heel! [ALL] Some cry that in the past, we didn't medicate everyone [DR. AKOPIAN] Cool, witch trials and the Crusades sound like so much fun [ALL] Anti-depressants are so common That taking them is all we have in common